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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28833465">Regardless, I Still Love You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingsByK/pseuds/WritingsByK'>WritingsByK</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>LOONA (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alcohol, Angst and Romance, Based On A Rupi Kaur Poem, Depression, F/F, Manipulation, No Smut, Peer Pressure, Selfish, Suggestive Themes, Toxic Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:21:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>19,167</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28833465</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingsByK/pseuds/WritingsByK</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Chaewon has finally gotten into dating and comes across a girl by the name of Son Hyejoo. She was somewhat of a rebel but in the softest way. She was kind and loving. But... she wasn't in love with her. And it hurt that she knew it too.</p>
<p>" I love you, Hye. "</p>
<p>The taller girl smiled and kissed the girl on her lips. " I'll see you later, Chae. "</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Park Chaewon | Go Won &amp; Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye, Park Chaewon | Go Won/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: This story is rated for topics of manipulation, peer pressure, suggestive innuendos but no smut, alcohol, toxic relationships, and depression. If you choose to continue to read and get triggered because of one of these topics then that is on you not me. If I mention a topic and you realize I have an incorrect fact, don't be afraid to hit me up and I will do what I can to fix it. Have a nice time reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>
    <em>Based On "selfish" By Rupi Kaur </em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>I will tell you about selfish people</p>
<p>Even when they know they will hurt you, they walk into your life to taste you because you are the type of being they don’t want to miss out on</p>
<p>You are too much shine to not be felt</p>
<p>So when they have gotten a good look at everything you have to offer</p>
<p>When they have taken your skin, your hair, your secrets with them</p>
<p>When they realize how real this is</p>
<p>How much of a storm you are and it hits them</p>
<p>That is when the cowardice sets in</p>
<p>That is when the person you thought they were is replaced with the sad reality of what they are</p>
<p>That is when they lose every fighting bone in their body and leave after saying <em>you will find better than me</em></p>
<p>You will stand there naked with half of them still hidden somewhere inside you and sob</p>
<p>Asking them why they did it</p>
<p>Why they forced you to love them when they had no intention of loving you back</p>
<p>And they’ll say something along the lines of <em>I just had to try. I had to give it a chance. It was you after all</em></p>
<p>But that isn’t romantic. It isn’t sweet.</p>
<p>The idea that they were so engulfed by your existence that had to risk breaking it for the sake of knowing they weren’t the one missing out</p>
<p>Your existence meant that little next to their curiosity of you</p>
<p>This is the thing about selfish people</p>
<p>They gamble entire beings. Entire souls to please their own. One second they are holding you like the world in their lap and the next they have belittled you to a mere picture</p>
<p>A moment. Something of the past. One second.</p>
<p>As if the human heart means that little to them</p>
<p>Isn’t it sad and funny how people have more guts these days to undress you with their fingers than they do to pick up the phone and call. Apologize. For the loss</p>
<p>And this is how you lose her</p>
<p>———</p>
<p>      " Son Hyejoo has been staring at you for a while in class these days, Chae. I think she's interested. "</p>
<p>    Chaewon doesn't bother to lift her head and instead focuses on trying to study for her upcoming exam. She didn't have time to waste on dating as the end of the school year was coming around. It would keep her distracted and also there was no telling if the relationship will stay together after school ends. What if she starts dating and her or her partner ends up moving away during summer break? She hated long distance relationships. She didn't understand how others could maintain a relationship where you could barely see the other person. How would you be able to trust that they weren't cheating? It was a confusing concept for her brain to wrap around.</p>
<p>     " If Son Hyejoo asked you out, would you accept it? " Yerim asks, a classmate that happened to be close to what other's would call a <em>friend</em>. Chaewon didn't consider people as friends. It was hard for her to let someone into her life. Because of that she isn't too social.</p>
<p>       Chaewon finally looks up and at the girl. " If Son Hyejoo asked me out I'd suddenly believe pigs can fly. Get fake scenerios out of your head, it's bad for your mental health to start imagining things. You don't wanna end up like Jiwoo. There is clearly something wrong in her head. "</p>
<p>       " You're so mean. " Yerim says and crosses her arms. She looks around for a second then smiles again. " You're sister is coming in her new cheerleading outfit. "</p>
<p>     " Oh god, kill me. " Chaewon mumbles right before the tall older girl wrapped her arms around her. She sighs. " Get off of me, Sol. "</p>
<p>      The older girl laughs. " I just miss my little sister. That's all. "</p>
<p>       Jung Jinsol, Chaewon's half-sister. Her daily homework. The two get along quite well, but Jinsol is just way too affectionate for the small girl. But they were really close. Jinsol helped Chaewon with her work and they told secrets to one another. She is the only person Chaewon has ever let in.</p>
<p>       " Your skirt is really short and you're bending over to hug me. I'm sure the boys behind you have a very good view. " Chaewon says as she filled in answers in her study notes. Jinsol grins.</p>
<p>       " You shouldn't mention something that is so obvious. I'm not an airhead even though I can act like one sometimes.I'm just trying to get more customers. "</p>
<p>       Chaewon ignored the last sentence. She hated what her older sister was doing. It wasn't that great of a thing. The girl went around campus selling photos and videos of her body to get extra cash. She somehow felt like it would be better than her actually having to have contact with random people, even though she knew it would get her more money. She needed a way to make some extra earnings since it was getting difficult to pay off both of their college tuitions and bills for their apartment. It wasn't like she and Chaewon didn't have part time jobs. It was just a lot with them having to pay so much for college. She didn't mind it at all, showing off her body. It was just a body afterall. She didn't get the hype over seeing someone nude. She personally never felt anything by seeing a naked body, nor did she ever think about it much. Though, she knew it made her little sister upset, so she's been trying to do it less often. But the desperate boys would pay anything just for a photo of her with her fingers in her mouth.<em> It was weird.</em></p>
<p>       " Are you studying? " Jinsol asks, finally taking a seat beside her sister and watching her take notes in her journal. She sighs, shaking her head then taking the pencil out of Chaewon's hand to fix the wrong answer. " Still having trouble with math. It's been like that since you were in middle school. "</p>
<p>      " Good thing I have you then. "</p>
<p>       A yell from a guard fills the area, causing the girls to look up at the scene. There she was, Son Hyejoo, running away from a guard with the largest smile on her face. She has a spray paint can in her hand, which was oh so obviously used on the officer with an X sprayed on his back. She runs by Chaewon's table, the girl's bag tripping her and causing her to fall. " God damnit. Chaewon! "</p>
<p>      The small girl raises her eyebrows. She was't expecting the girl to yell out her name. They make eye contact for a second before Hyejoo looks behind her and sees the security guards still coming after her. She turns back to the blonde.</p>
<p>       " I'll get you later. "</p>
<p>        She then takes off and runs around the corner. Chaewon notices something on the floor. Hyejoo's spray can and her black beanie, the one she always wears like it was glued to her head. The small girl picks up the items and put them on the table. " Who's gona give it back to her? "</p>
<p>        " You when you go apologize for having your bag so far out. I told you to put it beside you. " Yerim tells her. Chaewon looks at Jinsol, only recieving a nod from her sister. She groans, putting the items in her bag without any complaints. She wasn't one to lead long arguements over things that were so small. She just didn't feel like talking to the girl that just yelled out her name and ran off. Something about the thought just irritated her soul.</p>
<p>        " Maybe I'll see her after school fif the guards don't catch her. I think she's in one of those weird clubs after school. "</p>
<p>         " Actually she has a volleyball game today. We have to go cheer for them. " Jinsol says. " You can't run away from it anyway cause you have to stay until they let the cheerleaders go. So you might as well just watch the game and give her the stuff when it's time for them to go home. "</p>
<p>        Chaewon twirls her pencil in her hand. " I have homework to do. And I have to keep studying. You already see how terrible I am in math. No matter how many times you explain it to me. I'll just have Yerim's mom take me- "</p>
<p>        " I'm going to the game too. Hyunjin is also supposed to be playing today. Her and Hyejoo have never played in a game together. And from what I've heard, they don't exactly like one another. I have to see that. "</p>
<p>      " Of course you do. "</p>
<p>       Jinsol gasps. " Oh crap, I'm gonna get yelled at, the game starts in five minutes. You distracted me, sis! I'll see you after the game! " She then runs off to go to the gym where the game will be held. Chaewon looks behind her and realises Yerim is gone as well. She sighs for the nth time today, grabbing her bags and making her way to the gym. She never really liked this college much.But it was the only one that they could afford the moment. She hopes that she can get more scholarships so she can graduate at the college she originally wanted to go.</p>
<p>     She enters the gym and looks around. She's only been in here a few times for when Jinsol had to cheer at basketball games. But somehow she was still shocked whenever she entered and saw how large it was. She saw her sister getting ready on the sidelines. Thats when her eyes go to the court, instantly making eye contact with Son Hyejoo now in her volleyball outfit. The dark haired girl stared at her for a second before she jumped up to hit the ball. Chaewon finds where Yerim is sitting and takes a seat beside her. She hated sports so much. She didn't understand why people got so excited over it. Who wants to sit and watch a bunch of girls get all sweaty hitting a ball back and forth.</p>
<p>       " I've never seen Hyejoo's figure before. She's always in baggy clothes. She's slimmer than I thought. "</p>
<p>       " She's curvy. I'm <em>so</em> jealous. " Chaewon says sarcastically. " Was that a girly thing to say? "</p>
<p>       Yerim shakes her head. " You're so difficult. "</p>
<p>      Chaewon opens her bag and takes out the beanie and spray can. She looks at them closely, seeing a name written on the tag of the hat. But it wasn't Hyejoo's name. Which was weird because Chaewon has seen the girl wear the beanie for two years straight now. Unless it was a hand-me-down from someone. That someone who goes by the name Ha Sooyoung.</p>
<p>          " Wait, isn't Sooyoung someone who goes here? I've heard that name from Jinsol before. "</p>
<p>           " Uh... she's your sister's best friend. She's also playing on the court with Hyejoo right now. Right there with the long brown hair. " Yerim tells her. She then points to another girl on the court and laughs. " That blonde girl right there, she's your sister's crush. "</p>
<p>           " Ah, so that's how the imfamous Jungeun looks. Sol tried to hide her from me. Because she knows I will embarrass her by telling Jungeun one of her weird secrets. " Chaewon says, finally noticing that her sister's eyes were glued to the girl on the court. " You know, I actually thought she liked guys. "</p>
<p>           " Just like I thought about you. "</p>
<p>          Chaewon shakes her head. She has never really been attracted to anyone really. There was only one time last year she saw a girl that she really caught feelings for. And she immediately dropped it when she saw that her grade were dropping. She couldn't put her crushes before her education. It just wasn't worth her sister exposing herself for her to play around and not get good grades in such expensive classes.</p>
<p>           " Woah! Hyejoo! She just smacked that girl in the face with the ball! "</p>
<p>           Chaewon watches as Hyejoo gets taken off the court and replaced. The dark haired girl flipped off the referee and headed to the locker room. She looks pretty pissed off. Chaewon stands up and immediately walks in the direction of the locker room, sneaking past the guard. She peeks her head in, seeing Hyejoo slam her hand against a locker. " Fuck! "</p>
<p>            The tall girl sits down on one of the benches and holds her head down. Chaewon takes a deep breath and enters the locker room quietly. She gets close to the girl before patting her shoulder, scaring the crap out of Hyejoo. The girl stared at Chaewon for a second then turns away. " What the hell are you here for? To trip me again? I've already messed up enough today. "</p>
<p>             " Did you not hit her on purpose? " Chaewon asks.</p>
<p>             " Of course I did! Were you not watching the game? She was playing too rough so that we'd lose and I had enough of her bullshit. Then they sent me in here saying I neeed to cool down. I was only trying to help my team. "</p>
<p>              Chaewon stays silent for a second then holds out the black beanie. " You dropped this when you tripped on my bag, which I... am very sorry about. "</p>
<p>              " I thought I lost it! Thank god. " Hyejoo's frown instantly turns into a smile when she put the hat back on her head. She stands up and hugs Chaewon, startling the girl. She hated it, but somehow she didn't feel the desire to push her away like she would do to Jinsol or Yerim. " You're so damn lucky you're pretty and I was genuinely scared I lost this beanie. I would've beat you up for touching it with your hands. But you look fragile and pretty like a princess so I won't lnjure you. Not yet at least, I still have to get you back for tripping me. "</p>
<p>                 " But... I apologized. "</p>
<p>                 Hyejoo grabs the girl's chin and makes her look up at her. She smirks and gently pats Chaewon's cheek. " You're cute up close. I've been curious. I accept your apology, but I'm still gonna get you back. It's only fair. I fell in front of quite a few people and almost got caught by the guards. "</p>
<p>                 " Oh, this is yours too. " Chaewon says, holding out the spray can. Hyejoo grabs it, her fingers brushing against Chaewon's for a second. She chuckles and grabs the small girl's wrist before shaking the can a bit and spraying an X on the girl's skin.</p>
<p>                " Now you've been marked. Making you my<em> target</em>, the wolf's territory. I'll get you back, Park Chaewon. " Hyejoo explains. She laughs, putting down the paint can and starting to walk back out the locker room. " Don't worry, it'll come right off. It's not toxic either. "</p>
<p>                 Chaewon stares at the X on her wrist. She didn't know what to say at the moment. She had never let someone handle like that. But she wasn't angry with her. It was<em> so strange</em>. The girl made her mind go blank. She was so quick and Chaewon wasn't able to process everything as it went on. She think's Hyejoo knew that as well.</p>
<p>               She sits back beside Yerim who was too into the volleyball game to realize she was back. She probably didn't even notice she left in the first place. Chaewon looks on the bench and sees Hyejoo looking right back at her. " Shes so weird. "</p>
<p>               " Who? Hey, how'd you get that on your wrist. " Yerim finally asks. Chaewon holds up her wrist ad stares at the X, going back to look at Hyejoo who was finally going back on the court to play.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>             " Son Hyejoo marked me. "</p>
<p>-----</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <strong>thoughts so far?</strong>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Girlfriends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chaewon meets up with Hyejoo once again and the dark haired girl decides to take things a bit further.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
<span>              Chaewon looks at the stained red on her arm as she walks to class. It did come off but it was still very faintly seen. Maybe this is what Hyejoo meant when she told her she has been marked. The red X symbolic of a target point. She was<em> hunting her down</em>. For what? Chaewon thought about it all night. Only coming up with <em>revenge</em> as an answer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>              “ Boo! “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>              Chaewon feels her heart stop for a moment before she turns around and finds Hyejoo looking back at her. “ You scared me. How’d you know it was me from behind? “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>               “ There aren’t too many tiny blonde girls around here. Also, you’re headed to our class. It made since. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>               Right. Chaewon actually forgot her first class was with the girl. She never really paid much attention to her until Hyejoo made herself noticeable by annoying the hell out of their professor. But after yesterday, Chaewon suddenly became interested in everything about the dark haired girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>               She looks up and sees the beanie back on Hyejoo’s head. “ Oh, you’re wearing it again. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>               “ It’s my good luck charm. Someone special gave it to me when I was at my lowest point. So it means a lot to me. She means a lot. That’s why your marking isn’t permanent. It’s<em> temporary</em>. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>               Chaewon looks down to see the faint red X once again. She wonders how many other people the girl has marked in this way. She wonders if she was the first or the last or just another one down the list. But she doesn’t feel like asking Hyejoo. She doesn’t want to make a big deal out of something that might just end up being a joke. She hated wasting her time on such a thing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                  Hyejoo grabs the girls wrist, right on the mark. “ Follow me, just a for a second. Class doesn’t start for another twenty minutes. You can’t say no, your wrist is mine. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>               “ I have to use this time to study. “ Chaewon says so softly than Hyejoo barely heard her, it didn’t help that her legs were moving with the girl in contrast of what she was saying. She holds her head down and allows Hyejoo to walk her to wherever they were headed. The dark haired girl glances every now and then at the blonde. She didn’t understand how someone could be so petite and gorgeous. Chaewon was like a doll, and word around campus was that she rejected people quite often. Hyejoo wants to break that. She wants Chaewon to let her in. So she can explore everything about Park Chaewon. That way she’ll be able to say she was once with her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>               “ I’ll be bothering you as long as that mark stays on your arm. So get used to me. “ Hyejoo tells her, looking around for the guards before pulling the girl into the storage room. She takes off her bag, not letting go of Chaewon’s wrist as she looks for something. “ Ah, here it is. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>            Chaewon looks at the necklace in Hyejoo’s hand. She recognizes the cursive lettering that spelt her name. “ That’s.... mine. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ Yeah, you dropped it about a year ago. I’ve been keeping it safe. To give back to you when the time was right. Since you gave me back my beanie, I thought it’s only right to give you your necklace. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>           “ Thank you. “ Chaewon can feel herself blushing a bit as Hyejoo puts the necklace on her. This is so strange to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>          Hyejoo grins as she takes a look at the girl. “ Wow, so pretty.  “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>             It was known around the school that Chaewon really likes compliments. Hyejoo plans to use that to her advantage a bit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ Why are we in here? “ Chaewon finally decides to ask. She finds it weird that Hyejoo would sneak her into the storage room just to give her a simple necklace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>              “ It was obviously to make out with you in secret, duh. “ Hyejoo says. She looks up at Chaewon and chuckles when she sees her shocked expression. “ I’m just kidding. Unless... “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>               “ No, I don’t want to. “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>           “<em><span> It’s not like you have a choice.</span></em> I have your wrist. You can’t walk away. “ Hyejoo laughs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                  Chaewon tries to pull away from Hyejoo but she’s much stronger than her. Only proving that she really can’t just walk away from her. She’s been trapped.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ What do you want, Hyejoo? A kiss? Fine, I’ll kiss you if you promise to leave me alone. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                 Hyejoo shakes her head. “ I don’t want a kiss. I want<em> you</em>. A relationship. You have stolen my attention,<em> princess. </em>And I won’t stop until I have yours as well. I want to be your girlfriend, and it has to be an open relationship. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                  It’s the very thing Chaewon didn’t plan on getting herself into. Especially not with someone like Son Hyejoo. “ What if I say no? “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ You won’t if you know what’s good for you. I’ll make you and your cheerleading sister struggle. You don’t want that do you, Princess? “ Hyejoo says with her hand on Chaewon’s jaw.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>              <em><span>Manipulation.</span></em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>               Chaewon looks at her wrist with Hyejoo’s hand tightly around it. She can’t back out, and she can’t risk anything dealing with Jinsol when the girl was already risking her education with the things she sells. “ F... fine. I’ll go out with you . “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                        Hyejoo smiles, letting go of Chaewon’s wrist and pulling her chin up so she can press a gentle kiss on her lips. She smirks. She can easily tell that shes not Chaewon’s first kiss but the small girl also wasn’t quite experienced with kiss either, meaning it was probably true that she didn’t date. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>                    Hyejoo pushes the blonde against the nearest wall and whispers in her ear. “ I’m gonna mark you again, this one will be more visible. Stay silent, princess, I hear guards nearby. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ O-okay. “ Chaewon has to admit that she kinda likes how the girl keeps calling her Princess. Something about it made her feel so special. But she was so oblivious to what was going on. She isn’t reading too far into Hyejoo’s words and she isn’t noticing how to girl is tricking her into doing things, by holding onto the mark on her wrist. <em>She didn't know she was tricking her.</em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>                 Hyejoo slowly places her lips onto the side of Chaewon’s neck. She presses soft pecks before licking a spot and coming down to bite and suck onto the pale peach scented skin. She wants to mark her so she can show everyone. The X on her wrist should be enough but she needs more proof. That’s when she thought of the hickey. So they would know that Park Chaewon is now her territory. Her princess. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>           “ Are you enjoying this? “ She asks as she wipes the four marks on Chaewon’s neck, creating another red X on her. The small girl still has her eyes closed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ I can’t say that I am. But I don’t want you to hurt my sister. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                Hyejoo hums, tilting Chaewon’s head up once again and smiling as she looks at all her fine details. “ The wolf has taken the princess and marked her twice. Sounds like a twisted children’s tale. Come on, let’s get to class. “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>                Chaewon stares at Hyejoo’s hand for a while before she lifts her wrist and let’s the girl take a hold of it. Once again, the girl was going so fast that she couldn’t keep up but she knew what to do. She suddenly has a girlfriend now. Son Hyejoo. How was she gonna tell her sister and Yerim?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                 Hyejoo pokes her head out for a while then pulls Chaewon out the storage room and into the halls. “ The guards are out for me after what I did yesterday. I got away just in time to play. Hyunjin probably would’ve killed me if I got caught and wasn’t able to play in the game after we’ve practiced so much. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ Are you close to your teammates? I... noticed you beanie had Sooyoung’s name in it. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                 “ You looked that close at my beanie? Weirdo. “ Hyejoo sighs. “ Sooyoung is... a relative of mine. Then there’s Hyunjin, I’m not exactly friends with her. But we aren’t enemies either. Jungeun is pretty cool, I don’t get why she’s so popular but I could care less. I don’t exactly talk to anyone else on the team. They suck. Us four are the best players. And we could get into a lot of expensive places for free since we’re state champions so I’ll take you on a date to somewhere interesting. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                  A date. Chaewon suddenly remembers that she has a few exams to study for. “ I have things to do. I can’t go on dates with you. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ Fine. Then I’ll just<em> come over to your house</em>. Keep you company while you study. That's what you have to do, right? I know you pretty well. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>               “ My sister is enough company. “ Chaewon says, a bit creeped out that Hyejoo already could tell what she was going to do. Was she watching her often?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>               Hyejoo quickly slips her hand in Chaewon’s when they get into a somewhat crowded hall.  The blonde holds her head down and bites down on her bottom lip. She hates it so much. She can feel the attention on her as she walks to class hand in hand with Son Hyejoo. Guess she should believe in pigs that fly now. Son Hyejoo really asked her out. Somewhat.  "Are you embarrassed? “ <br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>        “ I am. How could you tell? “ Chaewon asks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>        Hyejoo looks at the girl and grins. “ Wild guess. If you skip with me I could, hopefully, make you a bit less embarrassed to be with me.<span><em> I promise I’m not who you might think I am.</em></span> “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>           “ It’ll be hard to convince me. And no, I’m not skipping with you. I have a class to get to. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>            “ I’m related to our professor. I can get you off the hook for today. Just please, spend some time with me. “ Hyejoo squeezes Chaewon’s hand and presses a kiss on her knuckles. The small girl gets trapped in Hyejoo’s intense, yet somehow still soft, brown eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>           “ Just for today. “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>            Hyejoo picks Chaewon up bridal style and rushes to the staircase. “ I’ll take you to my favorite spot. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>           Chaewon wraps her arms around the dark haired girl, hiding her face in the crook of her neck due to how embarrassed she is at the moment. Hyejoo was shameless. And Chaewon can’t stand that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ Let go of me so I can put you down, shortie. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>              The blonde loosens her grip and allows Hyejoo to put her legs back on the ground. She looks around, noticing they were in the greenhouse on the roof of building one. She’s never been here before. “ It’s... pretty. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ Pretty place for a pretty girl. It fits, right? “ Hyejoo says. She looks around at the flowers around them. “ I’m the reason they put this greenhouse here. If you look around there’s a flower with my name on it. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>               “ Why they build this for you? “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>            Hyejoo shakes her head. “ They didn’t build it for me. They built it because of me. Two years ago during the winter before they built it, I nearly made a suicide attempt. Sooyoung saved me, that when she gave me this beanie. Since it was cold. But it was also her favorite beanie, and she gave it to me because she said she hoped it helped me realize how great life is. So whenever I feel down again, I hold onto this beanie and remember the day she saved me and all the great things in my life that happened. That’s why I wear it all the time. It’s not because I think it’s stylish or anything. So, they built this, with tough glass panes all around so no one could do the same thing I did. Because not everyone will have a Sooyoung to save them. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>           Chaewon looks at Hyejoo, her eyes suddenly going to her arms. But they were clean, only a small minimal wolf design tattoo on her left forearm. Hyejoo notices the girl’s eyes and chuckles. <br/>
      <br/>
         “ I never harmed myself. Don’t worry. I’m scar free. I’m too much of a wimp to do it anyway. I figured that out. “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>          “ What did your parents say? “ Chaewon asks. Hyejoo immediately starts to laugh. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>         “ Parents? You mean those people who adopted me but pay me no attention? “</span>
</p><p><span>          Chaewon hums. She didn’t know that the girl was adopted. It made her even the slightest bit more interested in the girl. Everything Hyejoo did just made her want to know her more and more and more. It was a new feeling. But she doesn’t socialize with many people so she wonders if this is normal. To want to get to know someone this much.</span><br/>
      <br/>
             “ I didn’t know you were adopted. What happened with your birth parents? “ </p><p>
  <span>            Hyejoo sighs. “ When I was like four I got taken away from them because of certain laws I have no idea about. So from six to now I lived with Sooyoung and her family. We’re actually distant cousins but I guess she turned into a sister in some sort of way when I got adopted by her parents. Anyway, I’m sharing a lot about myself. You tell me some of your secrets. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>           “ Oh. Um... “ Chaewon tries to think of something. “ My life isn’t that interesting unlike my sister. My parents still talk to me. Jinsol and I decided to move out on our own. I stay inside all day, study, eat, sleep. That’s all. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>              “ Do you like your sister? “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>              “ Of course I like my sister. I don’t like what she’s doing around campus but if she feels comfortable with that then I won’t stop her. “ Chaewon admits. She hums. “ Will you help me out with something? Since I said I would be your girlfriend. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>             Hyejoo takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. “ Give me a kiss first. “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>              “ What?! You’re so needy. “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>              “ You’ll learn to<em><span> love me</span></em>. “ Hyejoo says, still waiting for Chaewon to make a move. She wanted to be able to say that the blonde had kissed her, not that she has kissed the blonde. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>              Chaewon balls her hand into a fist then releases before she steps closer and presses her lips against those of the taller girl. She pulls away and holds the sides of Hyejoo’s face to look into her eyes. “ Now listen to my request. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ Okay, princess. “ Hyejoo says with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ My sister, Jinsol, she has a crush on Jungeun- “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                 “ Hold the rest of your sentence. I can’t help you. Jungeun is straight. “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>                  Chaewon sighs. “ Damnit. I thought that... maybe getting Jungeun to spend time with her would keep her away from selling those photos. If she keeps doing it eventually it’s gonna come right back to haunt her in the future. I can’t stand to see something happen to her because of that. “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>                 Hyejoo tilts her head a little as she looks at Chaewon mumbling to herself. The girl seems to care about her older sister a lot. Seems like she found a <em><span>weak spot</span></em>. Jung Jinsol.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                  “ Okay, I’ll see if I can convince Jungeun to at least be friends with your sister. Will that make you happy? “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                    “ It... would actually. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                Hyejoo grabs Chaewon’s chin again and smiles. “ I’ll do it just for you, Chae.<em> <span>My tiny princess.</span></em> It’ll be hard tho. But I am willing to try so you won’t stress out about your sister giving loser boys her nudes. Besides, they both could use a friend. “ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>                “ Thank you. “ Chaewon says softly. Hyejoo hums.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                 “ I want a pet name too. Could you give me one? I can wait until tomorrow to hear it. But give it a thought, yeah? “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                  Chaewon nods her head. “ O-okay. I’ll try. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>                  “ Can’t wait, babe. “ Hyejoo says and steals another kiss for a second then turns to look into the sky with the widest smile. “ I’m dating Park Chaewon. It’s crazy. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>             <em>    No. </em>Chaewon says to herself. Her dating Son Hyejoo was<em> crazy. </em></span>
</p><p>
  <span>                  This will be hard to explain to her sister. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Photos</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hyejoo tries to quickly develop her relationship with Chaewon and tries to help set Jinsol up with her teammate Jungeun.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>        “ Well, that’s... interesting. Explains the hickey. “</p>
<p>        Chaewon sighs, holding her head down with Hyejoo’s arm around her shoulders. She was sure the dark haired girl had a huge smile on her face while Chaewon had to explain why they were together. Jinsol stands in silence before she hums. “ Well... should I fix an extra plate for dinner later then? “</p>
<p>             “ I won’t be here for too long <em>don’t worry.</em> “ Hyejoo says before Chaewon could answer. Jinsol could see that her sister was a bit awkward with the girl. But she wants to wait until Hyejoo was out of their house to ask her sister.  </p>
<p>              Jinsol leaves the room, cause Chaewon to be alone in her room with Hyejoo. The blonde bites on bottom lip. She doesn’t know what she should do. She wants to study like she usually would but Hyejoo is such a distraction. It’s almost becoming painful for her head. This is why she didn’t want to start dating.</p>
<p>                 “ You okay? “ Hyejoo asks, trying to look Chaewon in her eyes but failing. </p>
<p>                “ You made my life a little harder. I don’t know how to adapt yet. “ </p>
<p>                 Hyejoo removes her arm from around the small girl then goes to sit on the floor beside the bed. She runs her hand through her hair and looks at the blonde. “ I’ll stay right here and play a game on my phone while you study. I won’t bother you. “</p>
<p>             “ Then I feel bad. You came to spend time with me. And you’ve been quite nice so far. “ Chaewon says. She pulls a chair beside her own at her desk. She turns to Hyejoo. “ Sit beside me and play your game. “</p>
<p>                  “ Are you sure? I can get quite talkative when I play. “ Hyejoo tells her, taking a seat anyway. </p>
<p>                  Chaewon sits beside her, their arms just slightly brushing against one another. Hyejoo decides to play around and grabs the girl’s hand. She locks their fingers together, smiling as she take out her phone with her free hand. </p>
<p>               “ Can you study with one hand? “<br/>     <br/>              “ Can you play with one? “ Chaewon asks in response. </p>
<p>                Hyejoo lets go of her hand. “ Touché. “</p>
<p>                  Silence fills the room once Chaewon actually starts studying, only the sounds of Hyejoo’s game playing softly with a few grunts from the dark haired girl when she died on a level. The blonde couldn’t deny that she actually liked the small presence of the girl in the room with her. It was somehow a little more comfortable than studying alone. And when Jinsol is with her it’s usually just her constantly telling her the mistakes she made on almost every math equation. So Hyejoo being beside her playing a game without bothering her was really nice and different. </p>
<p>                  “ Done. “ She says, closing her journal finally after a little over an hour and a half. She turns to Hyejoo and sees that the girl has fallen asleep with her phone in her hand. Her dark hair is slightly in front of her face, her snores so soft, with her breath falling from her cute triangular lips. </p>
<p>                  Chaewon grins slightly. The girl looks so <em>adorable</em> and <em>peaceful</em>. So <em>cute</em> and <em>charming</em>. </p>
<p>                  “ Why’d you want to be my girlfriend, Son Hyejoo? “ Chaewon asks softly, her hand gently touching the girl’s cheek. Hyejoo’s eyes flutter open and she sits up, following with a yawn. Chaewon instantly retracts her hand and looks away. </p>
<p>                 “ Oh, did I fall asleep? My bad, princess. “ </p>
<p>                    “ I-it’s alright. I finished studying. What... do you wanna do now? “ Chaewon asks, still not daring to look Hyejoo in her eyes. She shouldn’t have touched her.</p>
<p>                 “ You can tell me more about yourself. It would be nice to know why you reject people so often. “</p>
<p>                  Chaewon finally looks at the girl then turns again. “ I have trouble trusting people. It’s been like that since my father broke up with my mom for someone else when she loved him so much. But turns out she was also having an affair. It make me a bit cautious. You can’t even trust family. Even Jinsol has kept a lot of secrets from me. So... I try to reject people as fast as I can. Because I’m also... <em>easy to give in</em>. I’m a very easy person. “ </p>
<p>                 “ Why do you think that is? “ Hyejoo asks while rubbing her eyes. Chaewon thinks about it for a bit.</p>
<p>                “ I... want to experience <em><b>love</b></em> before I turn twenty-five. As I get closer to that age I start to get more desperate. It conflicts with me wanting it to be someone I can trust. I regret having to reject people all the time. It makes me wonder if I might have rejected someone who could have loved me. I mean... I’ve been in a small relationship with someone before. But it was nothing much. I still have a lot of my firsts that need to get taken. So I hope I can find that person. Someone who loves me to the moon and back. “<br/>   <br/>                  Hyejoo looks at Chaewon with a smirk on her face. “ What if I say <em>I</em> can be that person for <em>you</em>? “</p>
<p>                   “ I barely know you, Hyejoo. I honestly can’t trust you too much either. But you haven’t done anything that makes me not trust you. And you seem <em>nice</em> despite being so rebellious at school. That’s the only reason I’m giving you a chance. “</p>
<p>                    “ I’m not a terrible person. <em>I promise.</em> “ Hyejoo says. “ You just haven’t gotten to know me yet. So take a break from studying for one day so I can take you out on a date. Please? “</p>
<p>                  “ Depends on the day and hours because I have work. Also depends on how good the date sounds. I take my studying very seriously. “ </p>
<p>                  Hyejoo twirls her fingers in Chaewon’s soft golden locks. She hums. “ I wanna keep it a <em>secret</em> though. “</p>
<p>                 “ Then no, because if I don’t know where I’m going then my sister won’t know where I am and I can’t have that. “</p>
<p>                 “ You’re pretty lame, Park Chaewon. I honestly thought you’d be more fun outside of school. It’s interesting. “ Hyejoo says. She stands up from her chair and stretches. “ Wanna go bother your sister? “</p>
<p>                   “ S-sure. “ Chaewon feels that if she says no Hyejoo would go around the school telling everyone how boring her life is. <br/> <br/>                  Once again, holding hands, the two girls walk downstairs to the living room where Jinsol should be. They find the girl with her back towards them, with a camera flash following with their appearance. “ What are you doing? “</p>
<p>                    Jinsol turns to them, zipping back up her jacket, with panic in her eyes. “ Uh... I had to send <em>something</em> to someone. “ The notification sound of coins falling fill the silence. Jinsol sighs. “ That’s another one. “</p>
<p>                      “ You gotta stop, Sol. I know we need money but you shouldn’t expose yourself to do it. “ Chaewon tells her. </p>
<p>                  “ It’s fine. I make sure not to put my entire face in the photos- “</p>
<p>                      “ Oooh so that’s what those boys were talking about. “ Hyejoo mentions all of a sudden. “ The volleyball boys were talking during practice about buying nudes from some girl. They were sharing the photos around. “</p>
<p>                      Jinsol sighs. “ I expect that to happen. “ </p>
<p><br/>                      “ Chaewon told me you like the broad shouldered <em>idiot</em> on my team. “ Hyejoo says. Jinsol’s eyebrows raise.</p>
<p>                   “ That was a secret. “ </p>
<p>                 “ Well it ain’t a secret no more. “ Hyejoo tells her. “ Listen, the princess here really cares about you. And I can’t guarantee you a date with Jungeun cause she insists she likes guys. But I can probably get her to hang out with you for a bit. I’ll try and set something up. Just promise your sister you’ll calm down on the photos. “</p>
<p>               Jinsol tightens her grip on her phone. “ But... It’ll make things a little harder- “</p>
<p>                 “ If you can convince Jungeun to like you, trust me, money will never be on your mind again. She hands out money like it’s useless. Not saying use her fo that. But just a push to not do anything stupid around her. Because once Jungeun doesn’t like you it’s over. She doesn’t give second chances. Also, why didn’t you just ask Sooyoung to get you a ‘date’ with her? “</p>
<p>                  “ I can’t tell Sooyoung I have a crush on her teammate. She likes to tease. And since I am at all the games to cheer for you all she would definitely embarrass me in front of her. “ Jinsol admits. “ But... fine, I will try to slow down and stop the photos. IF you get me a date with Jungeun. “<br/>  <br/>                Chaewon let’s out a soft sigh. “ Let me see the photos. And don’t act embarrassed, I’ve seen more than enough of you throughout my childhood. I’m already scarred. “</p>
<p>              “ It’s still embarrassing. “ Jinsol says but still handing her little sister the phone. Hyejoo tries to look at the phone screen but gets blocked by Chaewon, not wanting her new girlfriend to look at her sister’s naked body. </p>
<p>               “ Oh thank god. “ Chaewon says when she realizes that most of Jinsol’s photos were of her clothed. Just in sexy positions. There were slightly <em>risky</em> ones with her in bathing suits or lingerie. Then there were only a few of her actually nude. And the girl was right. The only part of her face in the photos were up to her lips. “ I’m guessing you’re actual nudes are placed really high, that’s why the boys were acting crazy and sharing them? “</p>
<p>                “ Yeah... that’s only right that they’re placed high. “</p>
<p>              Chaewon let’s out a sigh of relief. “ I’m glad they all aren’t of you naked. But I’m still upset. Mom and dad wouldn’t like what you’re doing. I don’t like it. And you shouldn’t either. Even if you’re comfortable with your body and you don’t exactly care if people look. It’s not good for your future. “</p>
<p>                  “ I’m trying my best, Sis. “ </p>
<p>                Hyejoo sneaks behind Chaewon and looks at the phone. “ Ooh, sexy. “</p>
<p>               “ Hey, you can’t look at these if you want to keep dating me. “ The blonde tells her. Hyejoo grins.</p>
<p>                “ Jealous princess is very cute. “ She says. “ Send one of these photos to Jungeun ‘accidentally’ and see how she responds. Here, let me do it. I’ll send one of you in a bathing suit since you’re embarrassed. “</p>
<p>               Hyejoo types in the girls phone number and sends the photo. She looks up and sees Jinsol biting her thumbnail. “ What if she responds? What if she knows it’s me- “</p>
<p>               “ She’s gonna know it’s you because you’re jawline is well known. But knowing Jungeun she’s probably asleep right now unless she’s with Jiwoo. And she doesn’t really check her phone too much until lunch time so you have until our next game tomorrow to prepare for whatever. She's also quite nice so don't be scared of her. But anyway, I gotta go because I can hear an idiot calling me to come home. “</p>
<p>                 “ When you get home tell Sooyoung to call me. “ Jinsol mentions. Chaewon let’s out a gasp.</p>
<p>                “ You know they’re related? “ </p>
<p>                “ Yeah... I mean. I have went over to Sooyoung’s house a few times. Hey, is that little brain overworked or something? You keep forgetting I have friends. “</p>
<p>              “ You never let me meet her so I forget she exists. “ Chaewon’s tells her. She turns to Hyejoo. “ I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow. We still have to explain... <em>us</em>.. to Yerim. “</p>
<p>              “ Why can’t you just introduce me as your <em>girlfriend</em>? Still don’t wanna believe it? “</p>
<p>               “ It’s just because Yerim has always wanted us two together and I don’t want it to seem like I did it for her because I legit just told her I wouldn’t date you. “</p>
<p>               Hyejoo places her hand on her chest. “ Ouch. That hurt. But I guess it’s fine. Can I get a kiss? Oh and a <em>photo</em> to represent our first day together. “</p>
<p>              “ O-okay, sure. “ </p>
<p>             Jinsol watches the two girls, looking at her sister as she takes a selfie with Hyejoo. Or was it a video? She couldn’t tell. It was weird to see her sister so close and kiss someone knowing Chaewon wasn’t quite social. Maybe Hyejoo would <em>help</em> open her up more. </p>
<p>              “ How cute. I’m gonna make this one my Lock Screen. “ Hyejoo says, clicking the photo of Chaewon kissing her cheek and setting it as her Lock Screen. Oh how everyone would be so jealous of her. “ I’ll see you later, Chae. And Sol, I’ll try talking to Jungeun for you. “</p>
<p>         “ Thanks. Be safe on your way home. “</p>
<p>            Hyejoo leaves and Jinsol instantly turns back to her sister. “ Really?! Son Hyejoo? You could do better- “</p>
<p>             “ I know that and its not like I wanted to, you know how <em>desperate</em> I can be. She was so nice to me, and she gave me back my necklace that I cried over for a week straight when I lost it. And she... she’s so <em>pretty</em>. I don’t fully trust her but I want to get to know her. She’s quick but... I can learn to catch up with her. I actually feel like she might be a great person to date. I don’t know if I’ll ever love her but... <em>I don’t mind being with her</em>. Especially with her calling me Princess all the time. “</p>
<p>                 Jinsol pinches her nose bridge. “ If shes anything like Sooyoung, I’ll just pray for you for the rest of your school year. When I became Sooyoung’s best friend she went to gloat to the entire campus about it. “</p>
<p>                 “ There’s nothing much to gloat about when it comes to me. She already called me lame- “</p>
<p>                 “ She just took a picture of you two giving each other kisses. Which, by the way, is already <em>too fast</em>since you just got together Just Today! “</p>
<p>                 Chaewon pouts. She’s only been in a relationship once. She didn’t know how these things are supposed to go. But it’s not like Jinsol has much experience either. She had one boyfriend back in high school for three years and that was it. <br/>  <br/>                 “ Whatever, let’s just have dinner and go to bed before I have to study all over again. “</p>
<p> </p>
<p><br/>                    The two girls arrived on campus the next day, both looking forward to two completely different things. Jinsol’s mind was only on Jungeun and her reaction to what they had sent her. While Chaewon was more focused on finding wherever Hyejoo was.</p>
<p>                   “ Chaewon! “ </p>
<p>               The blonde turns around and finds Yerim walking up to her. “ Hey. “</p>
<p>                   “ What’s this about you dating Hyejoo? I thought you didn’t like her. “ Yerim asks. Chaewon grips onto her backpack strap but before she starts explaining she feels an arm around her shoulders. Hyejoo chuckles and kisses the girl’s cheek.</p>
<p>                   “ Hey there, Princess. “ </p>
<p>                  “ Did you tell everyone? “ Chaewon asks the dark haired girl. Hyejoo shakes her head.</p>
<p>                   “ Some people might have seen my lock screen and went to gossip. I told my teammates though. Since I had to tell them why I didn’t go to practice yesterday even though we have a game in... twenty minutes? “ </p>
<p>                    Yerim clears her throat, getting Hyejoo’s attention. “ Hi, I’m Yerim. Chaewon’s friend. “</p>
<p>                    “ I know who you are. You come to our games and cheer for Hyunjin all the time. “ </p>
<p>                   “ Am I that noticeable? “ Yerim asks. Hyejoo nods her head as she hugs Chaewon from behind.</p>
<p>                  “ Makes it a bit hard for her to focus. Which is good, because the more she loses focus the better of a player I would look and coach would make me captain instead. “</p>
<p>                Chaewon notices that they are getting a few stares. She holds her head down but instead of moving away she leans further into the girl. Hyejoo smiles, grabbing a hold of the blondes chin. </p>
<p>                   “ You’re cute today. Did you get all dressed up for me? “</p>
<p>                  Chaewon “ I got all dressed up for myself. But if it helps you sleep at night. Sure, I dressed up for you. “ </p>
<p>          <br/>                 Jinsol, on the other side, runs into the very girl she was hoping to avoid until game time. “ Jungeun! I’m so sorry. “</p>
<p>                  “ It’s cool. Are you okay? “ The girl asks. Jinsol gulps when they make eye contact and nods her head. Jungeun grins. She then gasps. “ Oh, actually I needed to talk with you. “</p>
<p>                    “ About what? “ Jinsol watches as the girl pulls out her phone. </p>
<p>                    “ Your name is Jinsol, right? Jung Jinsol. Did you... happen to send this to me by mistake? “</p>
<p>                  The tall girl stares at the photo of herself on the phone. She feels her ears and cheeks start to burn. She hated this situation so much. But it’s the first time her and Jungeun actually have had a solid conversation. And she just found out the girl knew who she was. She was winning right now.</p>
<p>                  “ When I saw it I knew that jawline looked familiar. And your... <em>body type-</em> Anyway, I figured I'd tell you instead of keeping it a secret. I’m sure this photo was meant for someone else, right? Like a boyfriend or something. “ </p>
<p>                    “ Uh... no, I don’t have a boyfriend or anything like that. I was probably... drunk.. yeah. I’m sorry you had to see that. You can just delete it. “ Jinsol tells her, breaking eye contact. Jungeun laughs.</p>
<p>                    “ Hey, don’t be embarrassed. The photo is nice. You look good. Makes sense that you’re a cheerleader. Our college is known for their <em>hot</em> cheerleaders. “</p>
<p>                   Jinsol smiles. “ Are you saying I’m hot? “</p>
<p>                “ I... uh, yeah sure. You’re a very attractive girl. “ Jungeun glimpses down at the girl in her cheerleading outfit then looks away once she starts blushing. “ I... gotta head to the locker room to get ready for the game. Wanna walk with me, Jinsol? I think the cheerleaders should be rounding up as well. “</p>
<p> </p>
<p>                “ Sure, I would like that. “ </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Permanently</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chaewon asks Hyejoo to mark her again and Jinsol makes progress with Jungeun</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If the progression seems quick it’s simply because the story isn’t supposed to be long. Ten chapters max. Be prepared for an angst cliffhanger.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
          “ Have you slept with someone before? Like... in a <em>romantic</em> way. “</p><p>           Chaewon furrows her eyebrows, wondering where the girl was goin with asking her this. “ No, I haven’t. I told you a lot of my first times haven’t been taken yet. “</p><p>           “ Interesting. “ Hyejoo says as she continues to play her game. It’s been a week and a half since they got together and it’s become a thing for Hyejoo to come over and play games while Chaewon studies. Though she stays a bit longer on the weekends. “ Maybe we could do <em>that</em> one day. “</p><p>               “ Excuse me? “ Chaewon asks, putting her pencil down. Hyejoo looks up from her game for a second before breaking eye contact again. </p><p>                “ We’re both adults and we’re dating. I’m just saying, if one of us is ever... in that type of mood cause of hormones, maybe we could do it together. “</p><p>                Chaewon hums. “ I guess that would make sense. But I don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. I’m only twenty. “</p><p>                 “ Okay? I’m nineteen. People these days lose their v-card at sixteen. I think we’re at an normal age to start... experimenting. “ </p><p>                “ That’s... true. My sister lost hers already. “ Chaewon looks back to her book. But glances at her calendar for a second. She grips onto her pencil. “ This... Friday. “</p><p>                  “ What? “</p><p>                  “ Let’s try it out this Friday. I’m free and your game got rescheduled for tomorrow. We can... use the time to try it and figure out how it works. “</p><p>                  Hyejoo smirks. “ Okay. Deal. I’ll be your first and you’ll be mine. “ </p><p>                It was a <em>little white lie</em> but she felt like Chaewon would feel more comfortable if she thought they would both be on the same level of experience. She wanted to take all of Chaewon’s first. She wanted to explore everything the pretty blonde gem had to offer. So she can no longer be one of the people who just look and admire.</p><p>                 Park Chaewon is someone who is always talked about around campus but it’s obvious the girl doesn’t know about it. Everyone talks about how gorgeous the girl is, with her golden blonde hair, her dark eyes that seemed brown from afar but were actually a dark green, her soft voice, her small body frame, and the cute way she dressed up almost like a living doll. Everyone wants a piece of her. It was difficult because she didn’t make many friends and she also rejected people way too often. If you got to speak to Chaewon for just five minutes you were looked at as a <em>good luck charm</em>. Everyone wondered if anyone would ever come close to dating the pretty girl. Getting to know everything about her that they all were so curious about. </p><p>             The dark haired volleyball player only became interested after finally having a class with Chaewon. Seeing her physically for the first time. She found her so <em>interesting</em>. Hyejoo then made it her mission to break through that wall Chaewon had up. She wanted to know all about the great Park Chaewon. She wanted to be the first to do it.</p><p>                 She gently shoves Chaewon with her shoulder, laughing softly. The smaller girl smiles. She’s been starting to warm up to the dark haired girl, and she can see Hyejoo is warming up to her too. It was strange. She never felt like they would get along. But here she is. Planning a quite <em>romantic</em> night with her. </p><p>                  “ Can I have a kiss? “ </p><p>                Hyejoo always asked for permission to kiss her. As if she couldn’t just kiss her without a warning. Though, Chaewon finds it quite cute. “ Go ahead. “</p><p>                    The taller girl smiles and starts leaning forward. The room door opens, interrupting them. Hyejoo steals her kiss then turns to find Jinsol searching through Chaewon’s jewelry.</p><p>                   “ Sooyoung and Jungeun are coming over. I have to look good. Chae, where are those really huge hoop earrings? “</p><p>                   “ What are you wearing? “ Chaewon asks her sister, seeing that the girl is wearing a fitted white crop top and shorts. It seemed normal but Jinsol almost always dressed comfortably. Sweats, hoodies, pants, long sleeves. The only time that she was showing her skin is when she wore her cheerleading outfit or if she was taking photos for those useless desperate school boys. </p><p>                     “ Jungeun... I found out she likes my body type. So I want to show it off around her. Maybe... maybe I can turn a straight girl into a lesbian. I mean... I know it’s possible. Sooyoung was a church girl. “</p><p>                    Jinsol grabs the pair of earrings and puts them into her ears instantly. She is dedicated on getting the girl’s attention tonight. She finally is able to talk to her regularly, not she just has to make a move on her. And Sooyoung has told Jinsol time and time before that she can sometimes be like the snake that tempted Eve in the Bible.</p><p>                   “ You look so hot. “ Hyejoo says, causing her to get hit on the shoulder by Chaewon. </p><p>                  “ Stop flirting with my sister right in front of me. I’ll break up with you. “</p><p>                  Hyejoo smiles, grabbing hold and Chaewon’s chin and kissing the girl’s lips. “ I’m sorry, Princess. But your sister just looks so good right now. Doesn’t she? “</p><p>                  Hyejoo has this somewhat <em>fuckboy</em> or player-like side to her that Chaewon really didn’t like. But all the other times she was quite soft. Which was strange because at school the girl would be running away from guards and making marks on everything on the campus. A rebel in school but a softie out of it.</p><p>                   “ Oh, that’s sounds like them. Damnit I forgot Sooyoung had a spare key. Don’t come downstairs and embarrass me Chaewon or I swear to God I’ll kill you. “</p><p>                  “ Yeah whatever. Go flirt with Jungeun. “ Chaewon tells the tall girl, watching her leave out the room. Though, as Jinsol starts to leave Sooyoung enters and automatically walks up to Hyejoo, grabbing her by her shirt. </p><p>                    “ I’m gonna beat your ass you little shit. “ She says angrily. “You can’t keep skipping practices and expecting to always play in our games. I don’t care if you’re spending time with your little girlfriend. She’s gonna get you to not play and risk us losing our winning streak. “</p><p>                      “ At least I told you I wasn’t coming today- “</p><p>                   “ We had to run five extra laps because of you! Jungeun would beat your ass too if I let her come up here. Good luck in the next practice. Coach and Hyunjin are gonna make sure you get the treatment you deserve. You already sent a girl to the hospital by hitting her in the face. Then you skip three practices! Stop it. “ </p><p>                 “ Fuck you. You can’t tell me what to do. “ </p><p>                   “ You little- “</p><p>                  “ Hey, <em>baby</em>, let’s calm down a little. “ Jinsol says, holding the girl’s arm back so she won’t hit Hyejoo. Baby was a playful pet name they both called each other. They didn’t have any romantic feelings towards one another. But they found it comforting when it was said by one another. Though of course they knew not to say it in front of Jungeun for the sake of Jinsol’s plan to steal her heart. </p><p>              “ I’m not finished with you, idiot. Wait till it’s time to go home. “ </p><p>                 Sooyoung walks out with Jinsol, leaving Hyejoo with Chaewon again. The blonde picks up the beanie that fell off of the girl’s head. “ Is she always like that? “</p><p>                 “ When I get on her nerves, yeah. But not all the time. She’s actually quite the shy type. “ Hyejoo says, fixing herself and grabbing the beanie from Chaewon’s hands. “ Thanks. “</p><p>                   “ She’s... tall, like you and my sister. I feel out of place. “ </p><p>                     Hyejoo looks at the girl while placing her beanie on her head. She takes a second to caress the blonde’s cheek. “ I like your height. It’s very cute. You’re so small and petite. Just <em>my type</em>. “</p><p>                   “ I wish I could say the same to you but you aren’t exactly <em>my</em> type. “</p><p>                     Hyejoo liked to believe that if a girl was small and petite she could possibly be more willing and desperate. Someone who would do what she told her to without much hesitation. She knew that didn’t apply to everyone. But in the case of Chaewon, it was true. </p><p>                  “ Aren’t you hot? <em>You should take off your hoodie.</em> “</p><p>                   “ Huh? Oh, I guess you’re right. It is getting a little warm. “ Chaewon says, taking off her large black hoodie. Hyejoo sits back in her chair and watches as the girl’s body frame somehow gets even smaller. It was adorable. But honestly, Hyejoo just wanted to get a good look at the blonde’s figure. </p><p>                 She really has a thing for petite girls.</p><p>                    “ So pretty. You really fit the nickname princess very well. Are you sure you aren’t royalty? “</p><p>                   “ Shut up. “ Chaewon says while laughing. Hyejoo smiles and looks at the girl’s arm.</p><p>                  “ Oh, your mark. It’s so faded. It might go away after tomorrow. Guess this will have to end then. I said I’d bother you until it fades away. “</p><p>                   Chaewon stares at the very faint red X on her wrist. “ I don’t... want this to end. I was finally starting to like you and I like your company. “</p><p>                   “ I don't do paint marks twice. I can... give you a <em>permanent</em> mark with a different material. But... it would be with you for the rest of your life. Meaning it’ll still be on you even if we break up- “</p><p>                     “ I want it... I... think we can really be a thing. Even if you aren’t my type. Lately I’ve been thinking about us. I feel really nice when I’m with you. And I don’t know if it’s me being desperate and easy or if it’s genuine but either way, I feel like I can <em>love</em> you. <em><b>I think you’re a good person.</b></em> “</p><p>                     Hyejoo looks Chaewon in her eyes as the girl continues to talk. She smiles, pressing a kiss on the girl’s lips. Park Chaewon is too easy to be real. How desperate can one girl be? She's gonna get hurt.</p><p>                 Hyejoo reaches for her bag and searches through it. “ I always carry this with me. “</p><p>                   She pulls out a machine and places it on the desk, then takes out red tattoo ink. She learned how to tattoo people a few years ago. She has only done them secretly for a few people to get some extra cash. But this was her first time doing one for free. She even had Sooyoung pay her. She wondered why she didn’t want Chaewon to spend a penny.<br/>
       <br/>
                   “ I’ll mark you for the third and final time. This time it’ll last a lifetime. Are you really sure you want this? I mean, it can always wait. I never truly said I’ll stop hanging with you. I actually didn’t think your mark would fade so quickly. You must have some amazing soap because the chemicals I use for my paints are supposed to stain skin for a least three weeks. It’s barely been two. “</p><p>              “ I want it. I'm sure. “</p><p>                 The mark was supposed to be like a timer for Hyejoo. Seeing how fast she can explore the girl. Kiss her, know her secrets, sleep with her, etc. But the mark was fading so quickly and she hasn’t made much progress. She just... really likes Chaewon’s company. She hopes it doesn't mean she's actually falling for the blonde girl. </p><p>                    “ I’ll tattoo an X right where I marked you. One more time, you sure you want this? You can’t take it back. “</p><p>                   Chaewon nods her head, a bit nervous. She’s never gotten a tattoo before. She starts to get scared. Hyejoo notices and puts down the machine to pull the girl into a hug, running her fingers through the blonde locks. She kisses the girl on her cheek then on her lips.</p><p>                    “ It’s gonna hurt a little, if it becomes too much just tell me and I’ll move away for a bit. Alright? I won’t make it that big so you don’t have to suffer. “</p><p>                    “ No, make it as big as the first mark. I can handle it. Just make sure it’s pretty. “ Chaewon says, smiling for the girl. </p><p>                Hyejoo nods. “ Okay, I’ll get started then. “</p><p>--- </p><p><br/>
               “ It’s really pretty, but it does hurt a bit. “<br/>
  <br/>
               Hyejoo finishes wrapping up the spot and let’s out a breath she’s been holding for the longest. She smiles, looking up at the blonde girl. “ Now you’re forever mine. “</p><p>              She lifts Chaewon’s wrist and kisses it so softly. It makes her heart warm that Chaewon wanted her to mark her forever. Everyone would be so <em>jealous</em> of her. </p><p>             “ I have to hide this from Jinsol. “ Chaewon says, putting back on her hoodie. “ How long until it heals? “</p><p>              “ Depends on the person and the placement. But it should start looking decent around two weeks or so. You don’t have to keep the wrap on for long just for a few hours or so. There’s quite a couple of rules to follow after getting a tattoo... I’ll tell you everything before I leave today. Right now... I really want a kiss. “</p><p>              Chaewon grabs the sides of Hyejoo’s face and pulls her into a sweet kiss. She’s starting to trust her more and more. Hyejoo was quite kind with her, it’s so cute. </p><p><br/>
              Jinsol, sitting downstairs with the other two girls, watches Jungeun carefully as the girl talks with Sooyoung about their most recent game. How Jinsol wished she knew more about volleyball. She wasn’t really a sports kid. Is cheerleading a sport? She didn’t exactly know.</p><p>               “ Hey let’s play a game. “ Sooyoung suggests. “ One of us gets blindfolded and one of the other two have to touch <em>ANY</em> way they want and the person who’s blindfolded has to figure out who it is. Simple and fun. “</p><p>               “ You go first? “ </p><p>                 Sooyoung rolls her eyes and starts putting the black cloth around her eyes. Jungeun signals Jinsol to touch the girl. The tall girl nods and goes over, immediately goes to grab Sooyoung’s hand. </p><p>                 “ You didn’t even have to fully hold it for me to know it was you, Jinsol~ cause that wimp wouldn’t dare. “</p><p>                   Sooyoung takes off the blindfold and instantly puts it onto Jinsol. Jungeun steps back, wanting Sooyoung to take the lead. And so she does, not hesitating to put her hand around Jinsol’s neck. The girl pushes Sooyoung away. “ You dick. “</p><p>                  “ Sorry, I had to. I couldn’t not do it. “</p><p>                  Jinsol groans, giving Jungeun the black cloth to wrap around her eyes. Sooyoung walks over and whispers in Jinsol’s ear. </p><p>                  “ Take this moment to <em>kiss</em> her. It’s your only chance. Trust me, she won’t push you off cause she’ll be too shocked. You gotta take advantage of the moment. She’ll be thinking about it all year. “</p><p>                    “ Ready. “ Jungeun says. Jinsol runs her hand through her hair then steps close to the small volleyball player. She takes a deep breath, placing her hands on the sides of Jungeun’s arms and leaning forward until her lips touch those of the younger girl. </p><p>                 Sooyoung starts recording on Jinsol’s phone for memories since she knows there’s a possibility Jungeun won’t ever speak to the girl again afterwards. </p><p>              Surprisingly, Jungeun kisses the girl back, much deeper than Jinsol was kissing her. Sooyoung almost drops the phone in her hands. She really didn’t expect the so called “<em>straight</em>” girl to kiss back when she KNEW it was another girl kissing her. She wonders if Jungeun knew it was Jinsol kissing her.</p><p>                “ Holy shit. Hey, guys, calm down. “ Sooyoung says after Jinsol pushes the girl back against the nearest wall. Jungeun finally snaps out of it and gently moves Jinsol away from her.</p><p>                  “ I... don’t know who it was. I just really hope that it was Sol. “ Jinsol goes to take off Jungeun’s blindfold but gets stopped by the smaller girl. “ Don’t... I feel more comfortable like this. “</p><p>                    “ Do you like girls, Jungeun? “ Jinsol asks. Jungeun holds her head down.</p><p>                   “ I’m... I’m not too sure. I think it’s only for certain girls. I’ve always... thought it was possible that I could be <em>queer </em>or something like that. Because I don’t like all girls, and I still like guys a lot. I couldn’t exactly figure out a label that fit me. I just know certain girls take my interest. “</p><p>                     Sooyoung comes up to them. “ Maybe you have a type and in your case you’re only attracted to that specific type of girl. Like Jinsol. “</p><p>                    Jungeun rubs the side of her arm. She never thought about it like that. </p><p>                 “ Do you like me, Jungeun? “ Jinsol asks her, rubbing her thumb against the girl’s cheek. </p><p>                  “ I... think so. But once I take off this blindfold.. I’ll be too afraid to admit it. All my life I’ve thought I only liked guys but then... then you, Jung Jinsol, joined the cheerleading team. And seeing you in that outfit, cheering for me during our games. It did something to me. And then that... photo I got of you. “ </p><p>                  Jinsol grins. She was changing Jungeun without even having to try. </p><p>                  She reaches behind Jungeun’s head and pulls off the blindfold, revealing the girl and her super red face. She looks directly into Jinsol’s eyes and automatically turns away. “ Your eyes are really <em>flirty</em>. “</p><p>                  “ I mean, she just kissed you. I don’t know if you haven’t realized it or not but she has a huge dumb crush on you. “ Sooyoung mentions. </p><p>                   “ Why? “</p><p>                 Jinsol gasps. “ What do you mean why? You’re so cool, and you’re smart and sporty, you don’t try too hard to be someone you’re not. You’re really nice to everyone you meet. And you’re... really stunning.. visually. “</p><p>                 “ I feel like a third wheel- “</p><p>                “ Shh, Sooyoung. I’m having my moment. “ Jinsol says quickly. She turns back to Jungeun and smiles. “ I really really like you. Will you... give me chance? We can figure out your feelings together. A win-win. “</p><p>              Jungeun looks at her. </p><p>             “ Let me go home and think about it. And tomorrow after we have our game. I’ll tell you. Deal? “</p><p>              Jinsol smiles and nods her head. “ Deal. “</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Regretting</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hyejoo and Chaewon both start to realize things about their relationship.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>              “ This is amazing. Maybe we should watch your sister and all the cheerleaders practice all the time. “</p><p>               Chaewon rolls her eyes and leans her head on Hyejoo’s shoulder. She was so nervous for today. It was Friday, the day they planned to try out <em>sleeping</em> with one another.  She’s been thinking about it all day. She hoped Yerim would help her calm her nerves but the girl wasn’t on campus too much due to chorus rehearsals.</p><p>              “ I’m sure they knew what they were doing when they made the cheerleaders have their skirts so short. When they do their splits in the air you can see everything. I’m not complaining but... still. “</p><p>              “ You look at other girls a lot, you know. I’m right here. “</p><p>                Hyejoo grins. “ I may look at other girls but trust me you’re the <em>only one</em> I care about, Princess. “</p><p>                 She stands up and motions her head for Chaewon to follow her into the locker room. The small blonde looks at her sister and then makes quick steps to where Hyejoo is. The dark haired girl takes Chaewon by her wrist and carefully pushes her against the lockers. Her free hand holds up the blonde’s chin.</p><p>               “ You want me to prove to you that I’m all yours. Or do you wanna wait till we get home and your sister hears us? “</p><p>               Chaewon raises her eyebrows. She didn’t think about it. Jinsol didn’t know what the girls had planned. She would be so shocked. Especially because she likes to barge into Chaewon’s room a lot.</p><p>              “ But... here is so <em>public</em>. And it’s close to the end of their practice. They could be entering anytime soon. That would be way worse than just my sister walking in or overhearing us. “</p><p>           “ Don’t worry, we’ve got forty minutes. How about this? We try it out quickly right now, then if you think you wanna try it again, we can do it when we get to your place. I won’t lie to you... I really want to do this with you. “</p><p>            So she can check another thing off her list. </p><p>              “ O-oh. Well, let’s... we can do just a little. Not too much. I’m still a bit scared. “ </p><p>            Hyejoo hugs the small girl, placing soft kisses on her cheek. “ Don’t be scared, Princess. I’m right here. And I won’t do anything you don’t want to do. We’re just trying it out, remember? Seeing what we like. “</p><p>                “ I just... I don’t know if it’ll <em>hurt</em>. That’s what I’m <em>scared</em> of. I don’t really like <em>pain</em>. “ Chaewon admits, really liking the comforting hug Hyejoo is giving her. </p><p>              “ How cute. You’re so cute, you know? I <em>love</em> that about you. “ Hyejoo says. “ It may or may not hurt. Everyone is different I heard. But if it hurts we can always pause for a moment or we can stop completely. <em>Do you trust me? </em>“ </p><p>             Chaewon thinks for a moment, squeezing Hyejoo and pulling her closer. She smiles. “ Yeah, I do. <em>I trust you.</em> <em>A lot.</em> “</p><p>              “ That’s good. I won’t hurt you, Chae. You’re my little princess. You see this mark on your wrist? This beautiful red x tattooed on your wrist. You’re mine. And I always cherish things that are mine. I would neverput any of my things in harms way. So <em>trust me enough to not hurt you</em>. And if I do happen to do so, you tell me immediately okay, little one? “</p><p>               “ Little one? That’s cute. “ Chaewon says with a smile. Hyejoo chuckles.</p><p>               “ It’ll be rare. “ She tells her. “ You ready? Can I kiss you? “</p><p>              Chaewon nods. “ Okay. “</p><p> </p><p>              It was a spectacular moment. Quick but Loving. Hyejoo was so gentle and kind. It became obvious that it wasn’t Hyejoo’s first time experiencing something like what they did. But Chaewon didn’t mind the small lie. </p><p>               “ Just in time. “ Hyejoo says, hearing the cheerleaders entering the locker room. Chaewon looks up, noticing they were standing right in front of her sister’s locker. Hyejoo must’ve did it on purpose.</p><p>               Jinsol walks around the corner and furrows her brows when she sees the two but doesn’t question it at all, instead she silently moves them over a bit so she can get her things out her locker. She pulls out her car keys and smiles at the two. “ Let’s go. I wanna get out of here as quick as I can before one of these idiots think I’m their friend. Also Chae... “</p><p>             She put her hand up to her own neck, referring to Chaewon’s that’s been marked up by Hyejoo. The small blonde pulls her hoodie onto her head and tightens it a bit so that her neck was covered a little. Hyejoo smiles, wrapping her arm around Chaewon’s shoulder and licking her lips. It felt good to be Chaewon’s first. No one else will ever have that chance. </p><p>               It almost made her happy that Chaewon trusted her now. She just... hoped the girl wasn’t falling too deep in love. Hyejoo never wanted this to last forever. And every time she thinks about pulling away and leaving and confessing to Chaewon that she doesn’t really love her, The blonde always does something so sweet and cute. <em>She can’t help but stay. </em></p><p>             <em>But she can’t keep lying to her forever.</em></p><p>—-</p><p>            “ You lost it didn’t you? You were supposed to come to me first before you starting thinking about doing that, Idiot. Those obviously aren’t normal cute couple hickeys. Those are full on love bites. They last forever for no reason. “</p><p>            Chaewon pokes her food with her fork as she eats breakfast with her sister, Hyejoo had left really late last night after talking and doing... <em>other things</em> together. Jinsol figured it out pretty easily even though they tried to be as quiet as possible.</p><p>                “ I’m an adult now, Jinsol. I wanted to try it out. I don’t need your permission to do anything anymore. “</p><p>               “ I’m just warning you about what Sooyoung told me. “ Jinsol says. “ Hyejoo likes to mark people then leave them once she has everything she wanted from them. She makes them fall in love with her and then she breaks their heart. I don’t... want you to be a victim to one of her games. Especially because you’re so oblivious and desperate for love. I worry sometimes seeing you two together. Sooyoung did say that she noticed Hyejoo was changing the more she hung out with you so I won’t say it’s not possible that she’s actually falling in love with you too. But... I still don’t trust her. It’s only been two weeks, Chae. “</p><p>            “ If I want to be with her then I’ll do it <em>whether it hurts me or not.</em> Even if... even if it’s true that she doesn’t love me back. I still want to cherish the moments I have while I’m with her now. Let me do that. “</p><p>                 Jinsol sighs. “ Fine. I won’t say anything. You do what you want, Chaewon. “</p><p>               The smaller girl takes a bite of the food on her plate as she thinks about what her sister just told her. There was no way, she thought. Hyejoo couldn’t be playing with her. She wouldn’t tattoo her if she was just playing around.... <em>right? </em></p><p>                She hopes not.</p><p>               “ How are things with you and Jungeun? “ She asks to take her mind off of Hyejoo. Jinsol’s smile rises on her face again. </p><p>             “ We’re dating now. She likes me. Did I tell you that? Kim Jungeun said she likes me. And everyone knows I’m her girlfriend. That sexy volleyball player- “ </p><p>                “ Alright, I get it. I’m glad you’re obsession turned into something good. You totally deserve it. “ Chaewon says with not much emotion in her voice. Jinsol figures she probably upset her little sister talking badly about Hyejoo. </p><p>                  “ Hey, are we good? I didn’t mean to get you all heated up. I just wanted to tell you the <em>warning</em>Sooyoung told me. So you can prepare yourself for anything that might comes your way. So you won’t be shocked if it does happen- “</p><p>                 Chaewon holds her head down. “ That’s not why I’m upset. I just... I let her mark me without thinking. I was being too desperate again. “</p><p>                 “ I’m sure the mark will go away one day, don’t worry about it- “</p><p>                “ No... she... I let her... just look. “ Chaewon rolls up her sleeve and shows the tattoo of the red X on her wrist. “ It’s there forever. I missed up, didn’t I? I trust her too much, don’t I? I can’t help it. She makes me feel things I’ve never felt before with anyone else. I think I’m falling for her. And my brain is stopping my from thinking when I’m with her because it thinks she’s already the one. “</p><p>                    Jinsol sighs. “ I can’t believe you. You should know better than to get a tattoo. Even worse to get one by her of something that represents her. That’s almost as bad as tattooing her name on your body. “</p><p>                  “ I wasn’t thinking. I know. I’ve always been the stupid one between us two. “ Chaewon tightly grips onto her fork. “ What if it’s true? Sooyoung should know her sister best, right? She’s known Hyejoo since she was a small kid. She’s probably seen her with all her past partners. That’s why she’s trying to warn me. Just in case I’m just <em>another person on her list. </em>“</p><p>                   “ Hey, don’t let us get into your head. If you think she loves you then don’t think otherwise. “  Jinsol tells her, placing her hand on top of her sister’s. Chaewon’s eyes were wet, nearly about to cry. She hates the thought of everything between her and Hyejoo being fake. But she just knew she couldn’t ask her about it. Instead she will spend more time with the girl. She doesn’t wanna spend their days with her studying and ignoring the girl. She will go on dates and have fun. While she still has Hyejoo.</p><p>                 “ She has volleyball practice later today. Can I... stay after class and watch her? “</p><p>                      Jinsol sighs. “ Sure, I’ll ask Sooyoung to drop you off when you’re ready to come home. I gotta study. “</p><p>                    “ Thanks, sis. “</p><p>                  The tall girl grins. “ Anything to make sure my little sister is happy. “</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>                   “ Hyejoo, that’s your girl? The blonde? “ Hyunjin asks, pointing to where Chaewon is sitting on the bleachers talking with Yerim. Hyejoo smiles for a second but shakes it off and clears her throat.</p><p>                    “ Yeah, that’s her. Park Chaewon. You know, I was surprised she’s not a foreigner. She’s just one of those really rare types. “ </p><p>                  Hyunjin hums as she ties her shoelaces. “ What color are her eyes? Isn’t that like the mystery around campus? “</p><p>                    “ Well, “ Hyejoo can’t help the grin forming on her face she she thinks of all the times she’s stared into Chaewon’s stunning eyes. “ From afar and in the dark they look dark brown. Up close, with bright lighting, they’re really really green. And normally, they’re more almost hazel toned but still a bit more green. So I would say her eyes are green for the most part. They’re really pretty. “</p><p>                  “ What else did you find out about her? “ </p><p>                  “ She makes the cutest little sounds when we were in bed together. She’s so small. But she’s so hot at the same time. “</p><p>                   “ You slept with her? Nice. “ Hyunjin says, giving Hyejoo a nice pat on her shoulder. “ I’m trying to go for her little friend over there. I would like to spend some time with her. “</p><p>                   Hyejoo notices that Hyunjin has her eye set on Yerim. She found it ironic since she heard from Chaewon that Yerim has a huge crush on Hyunjin anyway. “ I don’t think it’ll be that hard. She seems just as <em>easy</em> as Chae. “</p><p>                  “ I’m not like you, Hye. That’s where I start not liking you. “ Hyunjin tells her, standing up with her hands on her hips. “ I don’t go for girls because they’re easy. And I let them know if I don’t want nothing more than a night in their bedroom. I ask them out genuinely. Take them on dates and treat them as much as I can. I don’t pretend to be in love with them to get what I want and then break their heart. Is she your next victim? You don’t love her, <em>do you?</em> “</p><p>                     Hyejoo bites on her bottom lip. She didn’t know how to answer her. She hates how Hyunjin says it like she knows that it’s a fact and not her just making a theory. Hyejoo has broken many hearts before. Everyone knows that. Except Park Chaewon of course.</p><p>                  “ Or are you possibly falling for her? “</p><p>                 <em>She didn’t know. </em></p><p>                 She looks in Chaewon’s direction and catches the girl giving her a small wave. She smiles, sending a wink and a kiss in return. <em>She hates it.</em> That she knows she playing with Chaewon’s heart. </p><p>                 She has to end this soon. But she wants to do it in a way that wouldn’t hurt the girl so much.</p><p>                She was being <em>selfish</em>, not thinking about how Chaewon would feel after all of this is over. She let her tattoo her for gods sake. Maybe it was too late. She can’t get out of this without Chaewon getting hurt. </p><p>               It was no longer possible to just <em>walk away and forget.</em></p><p> </p><p><br/>                     Chaewon focuses on the fingers laced with her own as Hyejoo kisses her. They no longer hid it. Their relationship. The dark haired girl openly kissed her whenever she can. She steals quick ones in class when their professor isn’t looking, then makes out with Chaewon in the hallways even if it was quite busy. And the blonde let her do it too. Which came as a surprise to everyone. But she just really didn’t mind people seeing that they were together. She wants everyone to know that she is Son Hyejoo’s girlfriend.</p><p>                      “ Hey, lovebirds. “ Yerim says, putting her arms between the two girls and moving them apart. She smiles, glancing at Hyejoo before she turns to her friend. “ Chae, they opened up a few spots for that newspaper you really like. Maybe you should enter some of your poetry. “</p><p>                 “ You write poetry? “ Hyejoo asks but gets a hand on her lips by Yerim.</p><p>                    “ I really think you should try to get in. Your work is great. “ </p><p>                    Chaewon hums. “ A lot of the poems I write are quite personal. If the person who they’re about reads it they’ll immediately know it’s about them. I’m not prepared to.... <em>explain</em> anything- “</p><p>                     “ Chae, I’ve read your poetry before. It’s so interesting. You always told me that one day you would like to be in that newspaper. Now you have the chance. “ Yerim says, ignoring Hyejoo who’s trying to move her away from Chaewon with a pout on her face.</p><p>                   The blonde shakes her head. “ I don’t know- “</p><p>                     “ If you get in you get twenty thousand to go towards college tuition. You can split it between you and your sister so she can stop selling those photos. You know she sold some recently, right? I overheard some boys talking about buying from her. “ Yerim tells her.  Chaewon raises her eyebrows in shock. Jinsol made a promise with her to not sell anymore now that she has Jungeun. <em>Yet she went behind her back and sold again.</em></p><p>               This is why Chaewon has trust issues. She can’t even trust her own sister sometimes.</p><p>                “ I’ll check it out when I get home later. Not saying I’ll enter but... I’ll think about it. “</p><p>                “ Call me when you make a decision, okay? “ Yerim then turns to face Hyejoo. “ Hyunjin came up to talk with me today. Does this have anything to do with you two talking in your practice earlier? “</p><p>                Hyejoo crosses her arms. She didn’t wanna mess up whatever Hyunjin’s plan is. “ She and I were just discussing how we’re gonna hurt the girls in the next game since in our last game against them they sent Sooyoung and Jungeun straight to the ER.  I don’t talk to Hyunjin. I don’t like her and she doesn’t really like me either. I have no reason to mention you to her. “ </p><p>                   “ Mmm, okay then. I’ll see you two later. You can get back to kissing or whatever you were doing. “</p><p>                  Chaewon watches for a second as Yerim runs off, just before feeling Hyejoo’s lips on her jaw and cheek once again. She smiles. “ You can never take a break, huh? “</p><p>                 “ I just want to cherish the moment with you. My girlfriend. My princess. <em>My world. My everything.</em>“ </p><p>                   Hyejoo gets captured in Chaewon’s beautiful eyes for a moment. Why is she doing this? Why is she letting herself get attached when she practically already got what she wanted? She hated that she didn’t have an answer.</p><p>                  “ Are you okay, Hyejoo? “ </p><p>               The dark haired girl snaps out of her thoughts and looks at Chaewon. She starts to smile again. “ I’m perfectly fine. You wanna go with me to bother my aunt Haseul and her girlfriend? Or Professor Jo as you all call her. “</p><p>                   “ Sure, but I won’t go along with any of your jokes. Just saying. “ Chaewon tells her. Hyejoo laughs while she grabs the blonde’s small hand.</p><p>                     “ I’ll try to keep the jokes to a two. <em>Just for you.</em> “</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Broken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hyejoo is anxious and Chaewon figures out her soon fate.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>           Hyejoo takes a deep breath. “ Chae, I’m breaking up with you. “</p><p>          “ I <em>never</em> loved you. “</p><p>          “ I just wanted you for a few days not forever. “</p><p>          “ Dont talk to me ever again. “</p><p>          She groans and hits the wall beside her mirror. Sooyoung looks up from her phone. “ You can’t be that brutally honest, it’s gonna hurt like hell. “</p><p>           “ I don’t know how to do it. I usually just break up with them <em>ruthlessly</em>. Not caring if they’re crying or anything. But it hurts me to even think about breaking up with her. “</p><p>            “ Maybe to cause you <em>actually like her...</em> “ Sooyoung mentions. Hyejoo shakes her head. </p><p>             “ No no, I don’t. I don’t like her. I made sure I didn’t fall for her. “</p><p>              Sooyoung puts her phone down so she can look at the younger girl. “ You tattooed an X on her. Dude, I had to beg you to give me a tattoo and you made me pay for it like I’m not your sister- “</p><p>                “ You arent. You’re my cousin. “</p><p>                “ I’m still your adoptive sister whether you like it or not. I’m still family either way. Yet she gets hers for free?! With colored ink?! There’s no way you don’t have some feelings for her. “ Sooyoung tells her. Hyejoo looks at herself in the mirror.</p><p>               “ Maybe... maybe I do like her <em>a little.</em> But I don’t deserve her. I practically used her. I wouldn’t be able to date her knowing that. I just wanna be honest with her and leave. She’ll have no reason to see me again other than if she comes to watch her sister cheer at our games. “</p><p>                  “ You have to be willing to break her heart. Do you... want me to tell Jinsol? So she can be there for Chaewon when it happens? “</p><p>                  “ She might kill me. I’ll just... how about you come over to their place with me and you tell Jinsol only after I go upstairs to talk to Chaewon. Then hold her down from murdering me for hurting her sister until I leave out their apartment. “</p><p>                   Sooyoung sighs. “ I guess I can do that. I still think you should rethink this though. If you like her you should stay with her. You ‘<em>marked</em>’ her. She’s ‘<em>yours</em>’ forever. You can just admit that at first you did it for a different purpose but you fell in love and want to continue a real relationship. Start over with her. “</p><p>                   “ I can’t. I won’t be able to live with that guilt and still be with her. For the first time of me breaking up with people I actually feel bad this time. She... she really thinks I’m in love with her. <em>That hurts.</em> “</p><p>                Hyejoo really hates that she got herself in this situation. Who knew Park Chaewon would be so attractive in so many different ways. </p><p>                  “ I want to go back in time. To when she gave me my beanie back. Just say thank you and ignore her. “ </p><p>                  “ But you can’t. “ Sooyoung stands up and puts her hands on the younger girl’s shoulders. “ Just relax. Alright? Spend your last few hours with her in a good mood. And take off this beanie- “</p><p>                  “ No... this beanie protects me from the thoughts. I’m gonna need it after what I do to her. Cause I’m gonna feel horrible. I can already see her crying. I feel like such a sick person. And I’ve never felt like that before when I’ve broken up with someone. Chae is just... she’s so <em>precious</em>. I want to protect her from idiots like me who just wanted to <em>use her</em> and <em>toss her aside</em> like she’s a rag doll. “</p><p>                  Hyejoo sighs. She remembers when she first tattooed herself. The first thing she put on herself was the word <b>Selfish</b> in bold red cursive letters. She’s surprised Chaewon didn’t say anything about it when they were together. It’s right on her arm. Maybe she couldn’t read it cause of Hyejoo’s bad handwriting or didn’t know what it meant since it was spelled in its English form. Or maybe she was too oblivious to notice it. Or she probably just ignored it.</p><p>                     It’s how Hyejoo always described herself. She did things for herself and <em>didn’t care about hurting others</em> in the process. If it meant she would be happy then that’s all she cared about. She guesses that’s from feeling like she was alone for those years after she got taken away from her parents. She didn’t want anyone to hurt her anymore. So she did it to them instead. </p><p>                          That’s why she doesn’t have friends or a proper partner either. Everyone eventually finds out about her selfishness. And when Hyejoo notices they start distancing, she always ends things with them <em>before they do it to her.</em> </p><p>                       “ I’m really living then teen angst life, huh? The one you see in movies and novels. Who would’ve thought this type of thing happens in real life. “ </p><p>                       The alarm goes off, thirty minutes until her first class of the day starts. Ironically it’s with Chaewon. </p><p>                    “ I gotta go. You wanna drop me off? Or do I have to walk again? “</p><p>                     “ I really would drop you off but I have an extra shift since someone wanted to call out so I have to go. But Haseul is still here which means she’s running late so just go ask her to take you. Oh and.. “ Sooyoung fixes the beanie on Hyejoo’s head then smiles at the girl. “ Have a great day, alright? “</p><p>                   Hyejoo hugs her for a few seconds then grabs her bag and rushes downstairs. She walks up to Haseul and grabs the keys out the woman’s hand so she can get into the car. She notices her hands are starting to sweat. How was she gonna face Chaewon while knowing that later today she’s planning the end things with her? </p><p>                    Haseul enters her car and looks at the teen. “ Having a bad week? I talked with some of your professors and they said you haven’t turned in your work for the week. “</p><p>                    “ I just have a lot on my mind. “ Hyejoo admits. The older girl sighs.</p><p>                   “ Last time you said that Sooyoung had to save you from ending everything. I hope you’re doing well up there. Whatever you’re stressing about isn’t worth it. Just relax. You’ll get through it. “</p><p>                     Hyejoo plays a game on her phone to take her mind off of Chaewon. “ I’m trying my best. But thank you, Haseul- “</p><p>                  “ It’s Aunt Haseul! And also I need you to stop spreading the rumor that me and Vivi are going out. We’re just friends. “ </p><p>                  “ I don’t think people kiss their friends- “</p><p>                 “ I SAID We’re Just Friends. “</p><p>                 Hyejoo laughs. “ Whatever helps you sleep at night. “</p><p>              The rest of the ride is calm, Hyejoo playing her games and Haseul quietly singing with the songs on the radio. They split off once they arrive on campus. Hyejoo doesn’t like to be seen with the woman. Especially because Haseul is one of her professors. If people knew they were related they’d accuse her of cheating and such. </p><p>               “ <em>Hyejoo! </em>“ A soft voice calls out. The tall girl turns and watches Chaewon run up to her with the widest smile. “ You’re a bit late. I waited for you. “</p><p>                “ Oh, but now you’re also late for class. It started ten minutes ago. “</p><p>                “ It’s fine. I just wanted to see you. Look, my tattoo fully healed now. It’s so pretty. “ Chaewon says, showing it to the girl. “ They say your first tattoo should be <em>meaningful</em>. I think this is pretty great. “</p><p>                 Hyejoo’s sighs, wrapping her arm around Chaewon’s shoulders. “ You’re very cute, you know? “</p><p>                “ So I’ve been told. Do you like when I’m being cute? “ </p><p>                  “ Definitely. You’re so small and cute and beautiful. The best girl in the universe. Anyone should be lucky to have you. “ Hyejoo says, kissing Chaewon’s temple. She feels so bad. But she has to do it. Or she’ll never be able to forgive herself. “ Hey isn’t that your sister? “</p><p>                   Chaewon looks up, seeing Jinsoul down the hall making out with Jungeun, partially hiding on one side due to the open locker. “ Seems like they’re getting along well. I mean... it has been like three weeks. “ </p><p>                 “ Right. “ Hyejoo thinks about it. “ We’ve been together for a little under a month and a half now, huh? It’s been a while. “</p><p>                 “ It has. <em>I really like being with you, Hyejoo.</em> “ Chaewon says. The taller girl takes a deep breath.</p><p>                 “ I <em>liked</em> being with you too. “ </p><p>               Subtle. She’ll give her subtle hints. To hopefully give her an idea. So that she can tell what might be going on. So it wouldn’t hurt her so much. </p><p>                  But it doesn’t seem like she noticed. </p><p>                “ You know that thing we did together a little while ago. In the locker room while my sister was in practice. Could we do it again? Tonight? “</p><p>                “ Tonight? Oh... um.... “ Hyejoo didn’t exactly plan to do anything too romantic with her. But Chaewon is desperate for all types of love. And now that she thinks she has found it, she won’t let go of any chance she might have. </p><p>                    “ You’re going to break up with me today, right? “ Chaewon says, looking at Hyejoo with a somewhat sad yet collected expression. “ Let’s have fun together just one more time. “</p><p>                “ What gave it away? “ Hyejoo simply asks. The blonde sighs but holds a grin on her face.</p><p>               “ Your ‘I liked you too’ wasn’t as subtle as you probably thought it was. Also, you haven’t kissed me yet, other than on her temple. Also you aren’t smiling and squeezing me tight so I get embarrassed in front of everyone on campus. Everything about you today is off. I know you quite well after a month. And Sooyoung warned my sister, then Jinsol warned me, I’ve just been waiting for the day to come. I didn’t think it would be so fast. Did you get what you wanted? Was it to sleep with me? “</p><p>              Hyejoo stuffs her hands in her pockets and holds her head down. “ I’m an idiot. You’re so sweet and I used you. “</p><p>              “ I’m an idiot for letting you in. But I don’t regret anything, Hyejoo. I’m really glad of the moments I did get to spend with you. And even if it wasn’t real, you made it feel real. <em>And I really like that about you.</em> “</p><p>                She hates it. Pretending as if it isn’t hurting her as much as it actually is. But she can tell it’s eating Hyejoo inside. And she doesn’t want anything to happen to her. It’s only been a little over a month, yet she already cares for the girl’s wellbeing even if she’s about to hurt her.</p><p>                 “ Could you wait to break up with me until <em>tonight</em>? Then we can say our final goodbyes and split. I’m guessing you don’t wanna be friends either. “ </p><p>               Hyejoo sighs. “ I don’t think I’ll be able to handle being your friend. I already feel sick to my stomach realizing how selfish I was with you, with all my past partners too but mainly with you. I used your desperation as an advantage. That’s so <em>disgusting</em> of me don’t you think? I don’t deserve to be around you. At least in my eyes. “</p><p>                 “ Can I at least cheer for you in the sidelines for your games? And sit beside you in our classes together? And sit with you during lunch? “ Chaewon asks. Hyejoo places her hand on the blonde’s cheek and rub as it softly with her thumb.</p><p>                  “ Such a <em>Princess</em>. “ She says then smiles. “ Sure, you can still cheer for me. You can sit beside me in class. I’d actually really like that. But I gotta sit with the volleyball kids during lunch. Captains rules. And I sadly can not go against Hyunjin or I’d get kicked off the team which is what my scholarship rides on. “</p><p>                  Chaewon holds her head down as the continue to walk to their class. They were late but neither of them minded. They needed to talk about this. </p><p>                  “ Will you tell everyone we broke up? So that you’d be able to say you were the first to break up with Park Chaewon. “ The blonde looks up at Hyejoo. “ That’s why you did all this <em>right</em>? Because everyone is so curious of me. You took my firsts, no one will ever get that chance again. “</p><p>                 “ And how’d you figure out that one? “</p><p>                “ Had a talk with my big sister. She said since we moved into town and started going to school here we caught everyone’s attention cause of how ‘pretty’ we are with our colored eyes and blonde hair before she dyed hers black. She told me everyone was curious of everything about me because I wasn’t as open as she was so no one knows who I truly am. I’m a mystery. That’s why you came up close to look into my eyes the first time we met, to see what color they were, <em>right</em>? And you kept talking to me and coming over to my place, to gain my trust because I said I don’t usually trust people easily, <em>right</em>? I told you a lot of my firsts still needed to be taken, so you took the opportunity to be take them so you could gloat about being my first, <em>right</em>? I figured it all out. At this point I was just trying to spend my remaining moments with you as happy as I could. Because I knew it would be ending soon. “</p><p>           It’s an upsetting thing to think about. She really opened up for Hyejoo. <em>It hurts her.</em> To know that none of it was true.</p><p>           “ After your practice, come to my place. To spend <em>one last hour</em> together. “</p><p>            Hyejoo looks into the girls eyes and nods,</p><p>           “ Okay. “</p><p>          “ Can I get a kiss? “ Chaewon asks her, knowing the girl would probably say no but still hoping. </p><p>            The dark haired girl stops walking then cups Chaewon’s face and kisses her right in the middle of the hall. She didn’t care that people were watching. She wanted... to make Chaewon feel loved. <em>Even if there weren’t any shared feelings. </em></p><p>             Hyejoo doesn’t like her. Well, she likes her but she doesn’t love her. She doesn’t wanna be in a long relationship with her. But she already knows she hurting her so much. The least she can do is try to make her feel like this was real. <em>Make her feel like she loved her. </em></p><p>               For the first time she felt the pain of the person she was going to hurt. Her curiosity and selfishness got in the way. She knew what she was doing but she got too engrossed in it to realize it was going too far and that the longer they were together the more Chaewon would <em>trust</em> her and think they were really in love with one another. <em>She played her.</em></p><p>               “ I’m gonna skip class today. Hide on the roof. “ Chaewon tells her once they pull away. “ I would tell you to join but Yerim will be there. “</p><p>               “ It’s best if I don’t join anyway. I’ll just... go find Hyunjin or something. “</p><p>                Chaewon takes a step back and sighs. “ Let’s meet after our classes are over. So... in about four hours. By the locker rooms. Alright? “</p><p>               Hyejoo nods her head then watches as Chaewon walks off without another word. She takes off her beanie, running her fingers through her hair. </p><p>              “ <em>Idiot</em>, Son Hyejoo. “ </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Deadly Splits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hyejoo makes her final decision on whether to stay with Chaewon or not. The outcome affects the girls tremendously.</p><p>TRIGGER WARNING : SUICIDE AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>            Hyejoo breathes heavily as she stares at the girl underneath her. The blonde locks spread messily on the bed, sticking to her face in some places. Cheeks stained with red and foreheads dripping with sweat. Chaewon pulls the girl back down and presses their lips together for yet another kiss. </p><p>             She doesn’t want it to end. She wants to be able to be with the girl whenever she wanted to. She wants a relationship with her. <em>A real one.</em> But she knows it not possible. </p><p>               The timer goes off, alerting the two of them that it’s almost time for Hyejoo to go home. The girl’s part their lips and stare into each other’s eyes. Hyejoo is the first to break their eye contact. She can’t look her in the eyes for too long. It <em>hurts</em> her.</p><p>              She sighs. “ I’ll be honest, I’m gonna miss coming over here and spending time with you. It felt like I finally had someone who cared about my presence being there. “</p><p>              “ We don’t have to split, Hyejoo. If you don’t want to leave then why are you forcing yourself to do so? “ Chaewon asks. </p><p>             Hyejoo uses her thumb to move the hair out of Chaewon’s face. “ I can’t look you in the eyes knowing how I <em>used</em>you. It hurts me a lot. “ </p><p>             “ But you leaving would hurt <em>me</em> even more. “ </p><p>           The dark haired girl refuses to make eye contact. If she knew how to time travel she would go back to the day she tripped over Chaewon’s bag. She would choose to not bother that security guard and just go to practice normally. That way they wouldn’t have to meet one another. Her biggest regret... is the permanent <em><b>X</b></em> on Chaewon’s wrist. </p><p>          “ I don’t regret a single day I spent with you, Chae. I just... regret my <em>choices</em>. You deserve someone way better than me. I know... I know you fell in love with me. And I’m so stupid and selfish, I let that happen so you would open up to me and give me what I wanted at the time. I <b>manipulated</b> you. I marked you in a way I’ve never marked anyone before. I knew I wouldn’t fall for you, I knew that one day I would break up with you and yet I still tattooed that <em>X</em> on your wrist. I will never forgive myself... for being so curious of you that I forgot to think of you as a person but instead just thought of you as a <em>play toy</em> of some sort. “</p><p>Hyejoo bites her lip as she tries to hold back her tears. She’s a horrible person. </p><p>“ Your sister, she is gonna kill me. I know you enough to know that just because you aren’t crying now doesn’t mean you won’t cry when I finally leave out that door. And... that hurts me so so much. “</p><p>Chaewon stares at Hyejoo as the girl looks like she’ll break the <em>very moment</em> she turns back to the blonde. “ I... knew from the start. That you were with me just for fun. Your sister warned Jinsol, and she told me. You didn’t manipulate me into anything. I manipulated myself into thinking that this wouldn’t be the outcome. “</p><p>“ Why would you do that? “</p><p>“ It’s simple. Just the same as you. “ Chaewon says, turning Hyejoo’s face so she could look directly at her. “ I was <em>curious</em> of you. “</p><p>She grins.</p><p>“ I know... that people want to date me. I have heard all the talk and rumors around the school about me. You were the first person who dead so confident in front of me. You were just yourself and you worked to gain my trust. I <em>loved</em> that. “</p><p>“ Still doesn’t make what I did right. “ Hyejoo says, pressing a soft kiss on the <em>X</em> tattoo on Chaewon’s wrist. “ I’m forever gonna regret it. Every time I see you. But I’ll never forget the moments we shared together. Thank you, Chae. For making me feel like someone actually cared about me. “</p><p>She gets out of the bed and starts putting her clothes back on. Chaewon feels a hole form in her heart as Hyejoo prepares to leave her house for the last time. “ Please... think about it once more. “</p><p>“ Sorry, Princess. But... I have to go. Trust me <em>you’ll be better without me.</em> “ Hyejoo stands for a second then takes back off her hoodie and gives it to Chaewon. She then sighs before showing the girl a grin. “ May fate decide what happens next. “</p><p>Chaewon’s eyes start to water. “ <em><b>I love you, Hye.</b></em> “</p><p>Hyejoo bawls her hand, digging her nails into her own skin to prevent herself from crying. It’s the first time those three words have been dropped. She smiles and kisses the girl on her lips one final time. </p><p>“ I’ll see you later, Chae. “</p><p>Hyejoo walks out of the room, closing the door behind her and standing there for a second as she hears Chaewon finally break. Her sobbing with so much emotion. All because she made her fall in love.</p><p>She goes down the stairs and doesn’t even bother to look at Jinsol and Sooyoung, instead she just walks right off of the house. She fell to her knees the moment she closed the door of Sooyoung’s car. She didn’t want them to see her crying.</p><p>Both girls, <em>heartbroken</em>, for two very different yet similar reasons.</p><p>Sooyoung sighs. “ She’s crying. “</p><p>“ That means Chaewon is too. “ Jinsol says. “ We might take a break from school. Just a <em>little</em>. Or I might kill your sister for hurting mine. “</p><p>“ I’ll make sure to tell Jungeun not to bother you. “</p><p><br/>....</p><p><br/>“ Hyejoo, get your head in the game! “ </p><p>The girl nods her head at Hyunjin and tries her best once she fixes her eyes on the ball. She runs up to jump and hit it, but misses once again. The coach calls a time out and takes Hyejoo out of the game. She sighs then heads to the locker room. “ Fuck. “</p><p>She takes the beanie off her head and throws it against one of the lockers. She holds her arm up to her eyes to collect her tears. It’s been five days but her head is still wrapped around Chaewon.</p><p>And speaking of the small blonde. She, nor her sister, have been on campus since. Sooyoung says Jinsol won’t even open the door when she went over to their house. All the lights were off as well. Neither of the girls answering their phones. </p><p>“ Son Hyejoo. “</p><p>She takes out one of her black spray cans, shakes it, then starts writing on her own locker. Writing ‘<em><b>die</b></em>’ repeatedly all over the locker front. She then throws the can at the locker and walks out the locker room. Her feet leads her right up to <em>the roof. </em></p><p>She curses when she remembers that the glass panes are there to prevent anyone from jumping. She would’ve done it. <em>Without any hesitation. </em></p><p>“ Hyejoo! “</p><p>Sooyoung rushes up to the girl and brings her into her. She squeezes her tightly. “ What are you thinking, idiot? “</p><p>“ How’d you know I was here? Why are you here? The game is still going on. “ Hyejoo asks. Sooyoung sighs, rubbing the girl’s back.</p><p>“ My sisterly instincts. I asked them to take me out the game. We’re losing anyway. “ </p><p>Hyejoo pouts. “ That’s all my fault too. “</p><p>“ No it’s not. “ Sooyoung tells her. “ They are very hard opponents. But forget about them. What’s with the words on your locker? Are you doing okay? “</p><p>Hyejoo starts to sob at the question. “ I keep... I keep thinking that what if she hurt herself because of what I did. What if she moved out the country because of me? I hate thinking of the possibilities of something happening to her because of our breakup. I’m such a terrible terrible person. I’m so <b>selfish</b>. I didn’t think any of this through. And it makes me even more upset that Chaewon isn’t the first girl I’ve manipulated and hurt by leaving. There’s so many others. I never thought twice about them until now. “</p><p>“ Hyejoo... I don’t know how to tell you this. I didn’t want to tell you because... the reason Chaewon left <em>is</em> in fact because of what happened between you two. “ Sooyoung sighs, holding her sister in her arms. “ Chaewon was <em>hospitalized</em>. She tried to kill herself. Jinsol said when she came home from practice... Chaewon was passed out on the floor with blood everywhere and a letter. But... they got to her just in time. They saved her. “</p><p>“ I hurt her, Sooyoung. I... I did that to her. “</p><p>“ And look at you. You aren’t any better. You were just about to do the same thing she did. But there would have been no chance at saving you. “</p><p>Hyejoo holds her head down. She was right. “ I’m sorry. “</p><p>“ Don’t apologize. Just relax. You need some time off. No more volleyball, alright. No more running from guards either. Stay over at Haseul’s place for a bit. “</p><p>“ Okay... “</p><p><br/>——-</p><p>Three days before...</p><p><br/>Chaewon sits on the edge of her bed, staring out her window. She no longer has any tears to fall. Her head aches and her body is weak from not eating and drinking enough. She’s just been <em>gloomy</em> since the breakup about two or three days ago. </p><p>She ended up dying her hair because her blonde reminded her too much of how Hyejoo would compliment how beautiful it was. So she now has long black locks of hair. A color to <em>fit her feelings</em> she said.</p><p>Chaewon scrolls through her messages. Seeing a bunch from Yerim asking her if she was okay. She hasn’t responded to anyone except her sister. </p><p>“ Sorry Yerim. “</p><p>She put her phone down and then walks over to her desk. There’s still the extra seat from where Hyejoo would always sit down and play her games. Chaewon pulls out a sheet of paper and grabs a pen as she starts writing down the thoughts on her brain. <em>Goodbye messages</em>.</p><p>Jinsol, their parents, Yerim. The only people she trusted. She then pulls out another paper and writes ‘<b><em>To Son Hyejoo</em></b>’ right at the top.</p><p>“ What do you write to someone who would be the cause of your death? “ Chaewon says to herself. </p><p>She taps her pen a few times then starts to write. Just writing out her emotions. How she fell in love with Hyejoo, how she wished they could have continued, how hurt she is that she walked right into the trap knowing what would happen.</p><p>“ Done. “</p><p>Chaewon stands to her feet and opens a draw from her dresser, pulling out a box cutter. She takes a deep breath as she walks back to her bed. She looks at the <em>X</em> tattoo on her wrist. “ Perfect placement huh Hyejoo. “</p><p>She holds the knife right above her skin. </p><p>“ I was stupid, I let you in and you used me. I gave you so many chances to prove yourself worthy and yet you <b>still</b>walked out <em>right</em> after being intimate with me. Are you happy, Hyejoo? You got what you wanted. And you left me with such a pain that I can’t feel a thing. Nothing... could hurt me as much as you did. But regardless, I still love you, Son Hyejoo. “</p><p>She pushes the knife down, dragging it in line with the <em>X</em> on her wrist. She clenches her jaw and starts breathing heavily as she tries not to feel the pain. And not too long after, the paint from the knife turned into <em>nothingness</em>. So she did it again, and <em>again</em>, and <em><b>again</b></em>.</p><p>The final time she holds up the knife to her neck. But she pulls it away, too afraid. She stumbles a bit. Her vision getting blurry. Blood was dripping and flowing out her arms. She hears the door from downstairs open and close. She tries to walk over to the door but falls, losing feeling in her legs. </p><p>“ <em>Jin... sol</em>. “</p><p>Her eyes shut and her brain clears. Jinsol knocks on the door twice before twisting the knob and opening the door. She gasps and runs to her sister on the floor unconscious. “ Chaewon.. I’m too late.. “</p><p>She takes out her phone and immediately calls for an ambulance. Her voice was <em>shaking</em> and she couldn’t stop tears from falling down her face. “ I-I-I need help. My sister... my little sister is bleeding out. I think she was committing suicide. Please just... come quickly. “</p><p>Jinsol listens to the woman on the other side of the phone and answers questions as she tries to find something to cover Chaewon’s wounds. “ Dont worry, Chae. I got you. “</p><p>She hates to say that she’s never seen her sister so <em>calm</em> and <em>at peace</em> before. </p><p>“ We have someone on the way. “</p><p>“ Thank you.. so much. “ Jinsol says. She puts her sister’s head in her lap. “ Chae... I tried to <em>warn</em> you she was no good. Now look. You’ve hurt yourself because of her. “</p><p>“ Your beautiful smooth skin now torn and pierced by a blade. “</p><p>“ Don’t give up. Please. “</p><p> </p><p>Chaewon looks down in her lap, listening to the beeping sounds inside the hospital room. It’s been almost a day. When she woke up, it was a feeling of relief but also <em>sadness</em>. She <em><b>wanted</b></em> to die, but she was also happy Jinsol saved her.</p><p>“ Here drink this. “ Jinsol says, putting the cup in Chaewon’s hands. The younger girl doesn’t move, only making a tighter grip so she won’t drop the cup. </p><p>“ It’s... hot. “</p><p>“ Oh, is it hurting your hands? “ Jinsol asks. Chaewon shakes her head.</p><p>“ It’s hot but... it doesn’t hurt. It’s probably burning my hands... but <em>I can’t feel it.</em> “</p><p>Jinsol sighs. She takes the cup out of Chaewon’s hands and blows lightly on the drink before putting it up to the girl’s lips. Her sister allows her to pour it into her mouth. She’s been doing it for a while now. Since Chaewon woke up she’s been in such shock on what she had done that she could barely move. She couldn’t believe it.</p><p>“ Did you... read the letter I wrote? “ Chaewon asks. Jinsol puts the cup down </p><p>“ No. I didn’t want to. It was a goodbye letter, right? I wasn’t going to read it unless... unless you actually passed.  “</p><p>Chaewon turns her head and looks at her sister. “ You know... I called out your name right before I passed out. I hoped you would find me in time. “</p><p>“ I came home from practice early. I had a <em>feeling</em> that I needed to be home with you. I came a few minutes too late. If I hadn’t gone back to get my phone out of the car... maybe I could’ve stopped you from hurting yourself. “</p><p>The smaller girl bites her bottom lip and plays with her thumbs. “ Thank you. For always taking care of me. You really are the best sister ever, Jinsol. “</p><p>The older of the two, walks over to carefully hug her little sister. A tear falls down her cheek.</p><p> </p><p>“ <em>I’m glad you’re alive.</em> “</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Remember the story is going fast because it’s a short story and it’s ending soon. Sorry for the slow updates, the usual excuse... school being a pain.</p>
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